delayed sending.
Fortunately a roommate came home from vacation and another’s brother also came by (second time he ever had) and I was unable to carry out my plan.
Turns out the medication I was on was making my depression severely worse. I got off of it and am in a better place.
Anyway, I only mention this because you suggested he wanted to ensure that someone else found him. And that makes sense. You read about the trauma people deal with…never being able to forget the image of finding their loved one next to the means they committed suicide with.
If that is why he went to these great lengths I would focus on that…that in his most desperate hour he was still thinking of others.
I might be biased. The few times I’ve come close I’ve always been very very concerned at how much it would hurt my family and worried they would blame themselves because of this or that…and so I went to great lengths to create the ideal situation that I assumed would give them a least amount of hurt, trauma, and self blame possible.
I am so sorry for your loss. Choose to focus on those great memories and if he is anything like me I’d want my family to at least find comfort that I am now at peace and no longer struggling in this mortal life.
My prayers are with you and your family.