to record a shot for more than half an hour of consecutive ice time. The Pens sucked, all night long, as they usually do, and won because they got a lucky bounce off a defenseman's knee, a repealed goal against, and a phantom penalty called on a "hit" where there was no contact whatsoever.

I've developed a Yankee-Cowboy-Ute level of hatred for the Penguins, who may become the worst team to ever win a Stanley Cup.