pan-handle with a burning car and no clothes!

the guy has his car delivered by someone that doesn't even speak english. the guy hands me a plastic grocery bag with like 15 different "shell cards" inside and says "es su gas money".

uh...ok. the guy's car is a 1993 toyota camry with no power anything and no heat. i don't even make it out of utah before i suffer my first flat tire. while i'm changing it i get sprayed with salty, black snow melt and am forced to drive the next 40 miles in nothing but my boxer shorts as my clothes and myself dry out. i pull over to put on some dry clothes from the back and some truck driver chick approaches me with "a deal". after i realized that my gas cards only had like $3 on them, i decided i needed a way to pay for gas. her truck was broken down and she need a ride to oklahoma. she said she'd pay for gas if i obliged. the guy said i could "bring passengers" so i felt like i could do this.

what this lady didn't tell me is that she had just fled the scene of an accident and was an undocumented alien...now ICE was trying to chase her down and i was aiding and abetting a fugitive. lovely. i contact "mr. reynolds" to see what is going on and he asks if "maria" found me. i was shocked to know how he knew about her. he said we had to pick up 3 more people near texas/OK border. these were also 3 more people of mexican descent who didn't speak english and definitely packed in "boxes". they offer to pay for food and i stupidly agree to let them in without checking what is in the boxes.

somewhere in oklahoma i get pulled over for speeding and the officer wonders what i am doing with 4 mexican women in a run down camry (NOT a malibu, as promised!). he starts questioning me really hard and asks if he can search the vehicle. he does. those "boxes" contained over 10,000 grams of meth and i got arrested and charged for drug trafficking, alien smuggling and am in federal prison. i have nothing. in an effort to destroy the evidence maria took her tortilla warmer and left it in the car while the officer cuffed us all, it of course had a cigarette attachment (why wouldn't it?) and the car lit on fire, hit the newly filled tank and destroyed all the evidence!

"mr. reynolds" who had a weird spanish accent is so upset that he lost his 3 best smugglers and i am at fault. i might not be alive in the morning...if they let me out, he will find me. because the evidence was destroyed and i didn't know about anything guy says charges will be dropped but now i need someone to pick me up...preferably not mr. reynolds and preferably not in a 1993 toyota camry. TIA.