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Jan 28, 2013 - 2:54pm
I was arrested, booked, and bailed out this morning. So here's how it all went
down. A few months ago I was on a different island and I borrowed my friend's car. I wasn't wearing a seat belt, because there's like 7 cars on this island, and got pulled over. My friend didn't have his insurance card in the car.

So I got two tickets, one for no seat belt, one for no insurance. Court date was set and cop said no big deal, just have my friend show up and show proof of insurance. Friend agreed, I boated off home, and there it was.

Friend did not show up, did not remember, did not tell me. I was at DMV a few days ago, and they said I had a bench warrant out on me. Went to station, got arrested, cuffed, mugshot, fingerprints, searched (no cavity search, but TSA would have been proud). Sat in holding area while they booked me and processed my bail, which fortunately I had enough cash on me to cover.

Observations:

Always carry cash with you. You don't want to wait in a cell with some of the other people I saw getting hosted by the system.

There was blood on the wall. It wasn't mine.

There was an individual getting booked at the same time. He apparently wasn't a peaceful fellow, and was all beat up and in a cast. I'll bet you don't know how handcuffs work on a cast huh? I do. Now. You hook one of the cuffs through the part between the thumb and your pointy finger.

I was wearing clothes. A group of arrestee's (is that even a word?) were being booked, wearing only gym shorts, looked issued, I don't know. I was glad to be wearing a shirt, I don't have any tatts yet, and would have felt really stupid among the other prisoners.

Handcuffs are not comfortable. I guess that's why they put fuzzy stuff on the fun ones.

Fingerprinting is not what you think. It's all computerized, you get your fingers double printed by a scanner, then palm and side of hand. So any of you thinking you can just melt off your fingerprints off with acid to hide your life of crime need to rethink your plan.

If you get a court date for you, even if the cops say your friend can clear it up for you, just go. Make sure your friend goes if he needs to show proof of whatever. They don't care about what happened or why.

The end

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Zaphod

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