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Jun 20, 2013
3:03:50pm
My list of the ten best Cougar mustaches of all time:

First of all, a big thanks to the website "Cougarstats" for all the great pictures.  Secondly, a note on scoring.  Points were awarded in three categories - Robustness, Maintenance, and General Awesomeness.  The ratings are not debatable, so don't bother arguing, because you will be wrong.  With that said, the top 10:

#10 -  Phil Jensen, LB 1974

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"The Dangler" - Barely makes the list.  Scores highly on the robustness scale, but you would have thought that on team picture day, one of Phil's teammates would have said "Yo Phil, better even out the stache before they take your picture".

 

#9 -Brandon Flint, DL 1983

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"The Borat" Serious points for "robustness", but I had to dock him for maintenance.   I would have definitely worn it a little more clean if I was Brandon Flint

#8 - Corby Eason, DB 2008

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"The outline" - White dudes can't really pull off pencil mustaches, but they look tight on African Americans.  When white guys try it, they always look like the villain in a silent movie.

#7Matt Braga WR 1977

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"The Bad-Yewt" You can walk around with a smirk on your face when you sport a stache like that.  Full but sharp, and ranks off the scale in "awesomeness"

 

#6- Ladd Akeo, TE 1986

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"The P.I"  I really like this one - has a hint of Magnum P.I. to it, very clean and sharp, but not a "pencil" mustache.  Would be higher, but scores lowly on "robustness"

 

#5 - Mike Empy, OL 1992

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"The Nacho".  This mustache may not be that great, but it gets tons of points just for reminding me of Nacho Libre.

#4 - Walt Manwill, OL 1981

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"The Shop Teacher" - Good old Walt was from Boise, Idaho.  Maybe he really was my shop teacher?  He definitely looks like him.

 

#3 - Tom Holmoe, DB 1983

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"The classic" Still groovy after all these years.  Tom's "Sunshine" stash gets bonus points for being one of the very few blonde mustaches in BYU history.  Look it up, it's true.

#2 - Spencer Hadley, OLB 2012

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"The Sherriff" - Maybe I'm overrating this stache' because Hadley is a current player, but I think he deserves major points for being willing to buck the clean-shaven trend and try to bring the stache back to BYU.  Plus, I really like the slight "W" shape that he's rocking.

 

#1- Andy Reid, OL 1980

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"The Coach" - What, did you think Andy got that great stache' overnight?  No way, he's been working on that bad boy for nearly 30 years.  I predict he'll still be rocking it when he's called to be a general authority, unlike that sellout, Tom Holmoe.

 

Thanks for reading, and be sure to check back tomorrow when I break down the 10 best perms in BYU history - who will finish higher:

Jason Beck?

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Or Matt Mendenhall?

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BoiseBlue
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