What good is a sports board if you can't explain to your fellow fans why you love your team? We all have our different stories of how or why we became fans of BYU. From family members who attended the university, to people who have been touched one way or another by a former player or coach, to those of you who grew up LDS and want to see the LDS team succeed. Well I wanted to explain the impact that BYU football had on me in my early teens that I felt saved me from a lifetime of bad choices and depression...

Growing up, I was non-LDS, and an unathletic videogame loving child who never wanted to have anything to do with sports. I was always the heavy set kid growing up, and would be made fun of frequently for my weight. As such, I had few friends and didn't want to go out with other kids. All I wanted to do was play videogames and watch TV, because they didn't make fun of me and it was more comfortable.

About the time I turned 10 years old, I began to make more friends. Some of which were the athletic types (jock friends) and some of which who were my fellow videogame types (gamer friends). Those ended up being the best times of my childhood, as friends on both sides of the spectrum became lifelong friends who I learned to emulate (they were all older than me), and come to love.

When I turned 13, I was hanging out with one of my gamer friends, and we were searching Google for random stuff (we were the nerds, so we were looking up stuff like Star Wars, The Legend of Zelda, etc...) just for fun. (Stop reading here if you can't handle adult situations) Eventually a pop-up came up with a pornographic image and I stared at it. Unsure of what to do. He clicked off of it and he never mentioned it again. When I returned home that night, it was all I could think about. I rushed to the computer to find this site again. Unfortunately, I did find it and my life went downhill from there...

When I was 14, I began to develop excruciating depression, and had often contemplated suicide. I had fallen into this new internet menace and couldn't see a way out of it. I was losing my good friends and began running with the wrong crowd. Even worse, I would start to think of women as nothing but objects... One day, I went over to one of my jock friend's houses to hang out and just goof off for awhile. Eventually I got to a point where I just wanted to go home and not do anything. Probably end up just doing what I'd been doing for about a year. My friend didn't want me to go and asked me to play NCAA Football 2004 with him because he knew I loved videogames. So I did, and I picked BYU because I grew up in Provo and they were the only team I knew. Obviously, I got crushed. But something happened that day when I played NCAA.

I didn't know what I was doing so I got a whole bunch of penalties, learned what the line of scrimmage was, and my friend taught me MOST of the basic rules of football. It intrigued me.

Shortly after that, my dad asked me if I wanted to go to a BYU game in Boise against Boise State (this was the 2004 game and he was friends with one of the coaches, so he got great seats). This was strange to me because my dad always knew that I wasn't into sports. But I agreed to it. We went on this road trip and I had a total blast. The best part was the game. Although we ended up losing (thank you, Matt Payne), for the first time I had watched a sporting event and actually understood what was going on! It was exhilerating! The crowd, the big hits (thank you, Matt Payne), the big plays, it was all there! Suddenly, I was hooked.

Upon our return home, I immediately had an urge to resort to my afformentioned activities... I remember vividly thinking about it and getting on the computer to do it. But I made a decision. I instead went to Google and typed in 'BYU Football'. I learned a lot of history regarding BYU football and really began to learn about the tradition. The amazing seasons, the award winning players, BYU had it all! From that point on, whenever I would have the urge to go to those inappropriate sites, I would force myself to learn more about BYU football instead and learn more about the rules of the game. With my new knowledge and newfound interest, my dad bought me NCAA Football 2005 and I played that for HOURS every day after school. If I ever got the urge again, I would turn on my Gamecube and play NCAA. Customizing my dream schedules, making players, winning National Championships. Even that gave me a rush! I BEGGED my dad to buy season tickets to the 2005 season because suddenly, football was fun! Though 2005 wasn't our best year, I remember it was the year that I went off my anti-depressants, lost a bunch of weight (I weighed more then than I do now!) and finally began to feel happy again!

Watching BYU play in front of a packed house of 64,000 people ended up being the thing I would look forward to every fall. Still to this day, every time I walk into LES, I get chills and feel like that is where I am meant to be. It doesn't matter who we play, but watching my Cougars play has now become something more to me than a simple sporting event. BYU football has become a source of happiness for me and, for some time, was my crutch against one of the greatest plagues of our time...

Today, I have a good job and I have a loving girlfriend who I think the world of! I often wonder what would have happened to me had I stuck with those awful habits... I like to think that I would've been okay, but I can't imagine that my life would have been nearly as enjoyable as it is now. Now, I realize that this story could apply to just about any college team... But the fact that I had BYU in my own backyard, and had access to the information and the history that BYU had made changed my life forever. I have been free of this "menace" ever since, and I can definitely attribute BYU to helping me stay that way. Did it literally save my life? Probably not... But, I sincerely feel that BYU football helped me to develop better habits and learn to be a better person. For that, I am eternally greatful.

Sorry for the long post. But I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings with you guys. I figure we all have our stories of why we love BYU. Each one is unique, and each one ought to be encouraged to be shared with our loyal, strong, and true community!

GO COUGARS!!!

(And yes.... I AM still a gamer. )