Our students take kiss-cam kisses waaaaaaaaay too seriously. What is the deal with these ninny little squirly students who are afraid of a little peck on the lips? Good gosh. Here we are, asking two young people of the opposite sex to kiss each other for fun, and you'd think we were asking for a kidney.

Maybe even worse than refusing to kiss is the grotesque cheek-kiss. Is there anything more emasculating than being denied a lip-kiss in favor of a cheek-kiss in front of thousands of cheering fans?

Nut up, BYU kids. I don't want to see anyone ducking the kiss cam ever again. I promise your eternal well-being is not at risk. Kiss-cam kisses are HARMLESS. And it might just give you a tiny little itty bitty outlet for all those repressed sexual desires you've been battling with ever since puberty.

And by the way: Be thankful that camera hasn't fallen on me yet. When it does, things are going to get real, real fast.