I found what I believe to be the perfect guy. Right connections, right experience, and surprisingly, a huge BYU fan. But after doing a little digging, I saw that he donated $5 to some preposterous GoFundMe. What respectable person does that? He’s either cheap with real charity or puts money into ridiculous things. Crossed him off the list. Now I have to start from scratch.

Oh, I also learned he isn’t Gephardt Approved. Double disaster.