When my oldest son was eleven, I was walking with him to his soccer match in the far corner of the Cottonwood Complex when we passed another father and son who were leaving the fields. As they approached us, they were both caught up in the fact the boy’s team had lost and were complaining loudly to one another about the reasons for the loss. It was all too obvious that neither was a very happy person and the father was the more agitated of the two. After they passed, my son turned to me and said, “Dad, I feel sorry for that boy.” I can’t tell you how great I felt when I heard that from my son because it implied that maybe I was doing some things right.

I had a grandson playing in a football league for boys 7 to 9. I was at one of his first games and witnessed a father, as his son approached the sidelines, go on the field and confront him about leaving the game, then pull him off the field hard enough that he fell to the ground. The father then straddled the son on the ground, bent over, and literally yelled at him because he had wanted to come out of the game. I couldn’t take it. Being a grandfather gives me some privileges and I took them and got in the father’s face and told him in no uncertain terms that I had just witnessed child abuse and I would not tolerate that under any circumstances, that he was the parent, the adult, his son was a child, and that he had better learn to act like an adult. After the game he came up to me and apologized for his behavior and thanked me for taking him to task on it, and he gained my respect for doing that. I was also at the last game of the season and it was gratifying to see him there supporting his son, not quite as intense, and I heard nothing but encouragement and positive things coming from him throughout the game. I hope that it remains that way so they both can grow and enjoy sports together.

If being a winner in sports directly translated into being a winner as a person and in life, I guess I could agree with the emphasis on winning at a young age. But since winning does not equate that way IMO, I hope we will all support our children being children and allow them to grow and develop by being loved and appreciated primarily for who they are, not for what they can do or accomplish.