Twas Valentine's day morn
and somewhere in my house
I heard my third born
whispering like a mouse

"Dad, Calvin stinks,"
he breathily stated
his cheeks flushed pink
as my dreams he abated

I crawled out of bed
cracked open the door
saw my child with bedhead
lying on the floor

A smile on his lips
(the twerp thinks this is funny)
as he rolls 'bout on his hips
as I consider calling out "Honey!"

But alas my queen slumbers
so I curl up my toes
and unzip Calvin's jumper
and wrap a blanket o'er my nose

By Cupid! By Eros!
what an ungodly stench
How could something so gross
come from this little wretch

I snatch up the child
with all of my power
carry him not so mild
toss him the shower

I grab the long hose
and spray him off quick
while ignoring his woes
and try not to get sick

The greatest gift Kat
will receive on this day
is not smelling the crap
which in Calvin's diaper lay.

Happy Valentine's to all
may your day be so blessed
with gifts great or small
without any poopy mess