One of my first recollections of how odd Mormons are was when I went to pick up a friend (who happened to be Mormon) to go play basketball.

His mom said, "Oh, he just got in the shower... he'll only be 20 minutes or so, why don't you sit down and watch TV, I just finished making 'Hawaiian Hay-stacks', why don't you eat with us... he'll be ready by then."

Okay, first of all, I've lived in Hawaii. There isn't anything in Hawaii called "Hawaiian Haystacks" or that looks or tastes like what Mormons call "Hawaiian Haystacks."

Secondly, who showers before they go play sports?!! ...For more than TWENTY minutes?!!!

Over the years I have learned that lavishly long showers, sometimes multiple times a day, is somehow connected with being a Mormon.

It's a well known fact that when BYU teams go to play away games hotels where BYU players and fans stay are always getting complaints from the other guests in the hotel that there is no hot water left.

And on more than a few occasions BYU has been tagged with a massive water bill after a road-trip.

I once asked an expert on all things Mormon about this phenomenon. He explained that it's a well known fact that many of the tribes of Isreal had a culture of frequent, long, luxurious bathing and purification rituals. He said the Japanese are perhaps the best known modern example of this (apparently they are one of the lost tribes... and also another lost tribe, the Finns, they just prefer their water in vapor form).

So beware BIG12. The Mormons are coming. And they are going to use all your water.