declare it a national Pardon Day and release anyone that is suspended.

Then we all head over to chat, where you list the names of every Ute that posts on the board. We show our support with clapping hands emoji. Then, mother CB randomly selects one Ute from the list... LIFETIME BAN HAMMER! We all reply with the flame emjoi and cheering.

Then some nice violin music plays, while TNT is marched to front of the board in the sticky post section. All the while, the masses of CB rhythmically chant, "NET or GROSS."

Then a CBer's fair daughter is brought forward. An audio clip begins to play of Greg Wrubell calling the last play of the 2006 BYU/Utah game. The daughter has until the exact moment that Wrubell's voice reaches octaves only recognizable by dogs to make a decision: Take TNT's hand in marriage or be condemned to Ogden for a Utah State University Education.

Finally, Ashtrash opens a letter which contains the names of the other school(s) invited to the Big12. If none of the listed schools share the initialism "CSU," then CB collectively takes turns kicking anyone who predicted that CSU gets in the Big12 in the junk. This continues until BYU wins a Big12 championship game.

Plus the confetti message board background you've planned, or whatever.