I hopped on the bus on a Monday morning in Bountiful. I was getting on the bus with about 50 other kids to make the long drive to Rexburg for EFY. I was 16.
I felt a little uncomfortable as I boarded. My stomach was a uneasy. I wasn't sure if it was nerves or if it was the food I had eaten at the buffet the night before...a lot of food. I soon found out that nerves had nothing to do with it.
As "Le Bus" barreled down I15, I went from bad to worse. Finally, it reached critical mass. I shot up and sprinted to the lavatory at the back of the bus. I slammed the door, dropped my pants, and as I was sitting down, a forceful fire hose of relief ensued...out of both ends. Luckily everything from south of the border went in the toilet, but my vomit went EVERYWHERE. You see, I hadn't anticipated it and did nothing to mitigate the damage. It was everywhere but the ceiling. All over the walls, all over the floor, and all over my feet (I was wearing flip flops).
I sat there for what seemed like a fortnight. This was the lowest point in my 16 year old life to that point. My mind was vacillating from, "how do I fix this" to "I'm getting no girls' numbers this year" to "how could you do this to me!?!?"
Finally, I develop a course of action. Of course there is only a bit of toilet paper and no paper towels. I take off my pants and my underwear and use the underwear to wipe everything down. I get done wiping up my feet and the walls and move to the floor. To my horror, my breakfast/dinner is running under the crack at the bottom of the door to greet the other passengers.
I open the door and look out to the sight of three guys, staring at me with a look of pure disgust. They quickly stand up, hurdle my vomit, and rush to seats further up. The back seat to myself? Finally some good news.
I make a few more trips to the bathroom on the drive, but without further dual action spouting. Finally we reach Rexburg. Not wanting to miss out on the festivities and feeling much better, I throw my stuff in my room, wash up a bit, and spritz on the cologne. Ladies, here I come!
I make the rounds, talk to a bunch of people, flirt with girls, etc... Finally, I return to my room to meet up with my buddy who had driven up separately and arrived late. "Dude, what are you doing?" asks my buddy. "What are you talking about" I reply. "I can see your downstairs mixup" he says, pointing to my nethers. I walk in front of the mirror to find out that the yellow warm-ups I'd been wearing all day were a tad bit revealing with no underwear as a buffer.