probably handled things wrong when you found out what it was about. A “I’m sorry about your friend” without the argumentative question before it would have been a really tactful response toward someone who felt you were being dismissive of something that’s important to him on a personal level.

When presented with the idea of perhaps being more respectful, you still chose to argue which was surprising but I don’t know you. You may just be a stubborn guy who refuses to cowtow to anyone even when it’s someone expressing that you are unknowingly stepping on something sensitive to them.

I stated pretty clearly in my post above that I don’t blame you at all for joking about something you didn’t know about. I do find it a little weird that the solution to come out looking like a good guy and respectful of the moment was so incredibly easy yet you still are choosing to argue about it (even with me who didn’t have anything bad to say about you). But I don’t care. It just surprised me. You don’t owe anything to anyone and you may feel like it’s time to take a stand or something. No big deal.