I've tried so hard to fit in with the crowd and act like others, including many here on CB, but I just can't do it anymore. I can no longer deny who I truly am. Therefore, I officially announce that I have transitioned... to non-cargo shorts. And boy, is it liberating!
I no longer have to feel that sense of shame that comes from having massive pockets that are constantly empty. I no longer have to try and justify to myself why just because I wear cargo shorts doesn't mean I fall into the same category as those degenerates who wear socks with sandals. I no longer will be instantly recognizable at Disneyland by other Utahns. Oh how glorious it is to finally be free!
For those of you who have felt like me and are unsure what to do, I encourage you to also make the transition. I got board shorts from Aeropostale that are plenty long and 100% cargo pocket free.