1. I'm on the board at least 7 hours per day. Nothing will slip past me. You won't get excuses like "there's lots of posts and we can't moderate them all..." when I'm a mod.
2. I'm just but fair. I would make sure that TNT got to be a mod for one day each quarter. It's really the least we can do for him, all things considered. He had the accident, the homelessness, and the virginity to deal with - he deserves some happiness in his life.
3. I have personally met 4 members of the CB posse. I'm slowly infiltrating their ranks to earn their trust and I am making you a promise that I will tear down that terrorist group from the inside during my first 100 days as a mod.
4. I've received multiple warnings and suspensions. Jefe would have me disqualified for just my actions last month. But, I say we need someone with some experience as a suspendee. We need someone who knows what it feels like to be on the receiving end of the mod mockery in an appeal thread. We need someone who has felt the full wrath of the ban hammer.
5. I will remove all Ute posters in my first 100 days. We don't need them. We don't like them. They're here illegally and I will use all of the mod powers bestowed upon me to remove them from our site. I will offer an amnesty program for those posters who offer true penance by publicly disowning Utah, saying 10 Hail Jimmers, and admitting that Boney Fuller is funnier than all Utah twitter accounts combined.
Thank you for your consideration. I would appreciate your vote. Together, we can make CB a place we all feel comfortable publicly admitting we visit.
This message was paid for by the If Trump Can Be President, TB Can Be a Mod committee.