worry they hear what a church leader says and use it as an excuse to not get the help they need.

I like the AA Big Book's first couple chapters outlining what an addiction is through the experiences of one of the founders of AA.

My rule of thumb is basically, if I can't stop (regardless of frequency) despite knowing what the negative outcomes of the actions are, it's probably an addiction. I think of it like any other illness, a mild cold is still a cold and deserves treatment.