Every May they pipe up and say that we shouldn’t water until Independence Day because of all the moisture received over the winter.

One time they even called out a specific address in our neighborhood for watering their lawn during the daytime.

And then every time it rains they post a friendly reminder to turn off sprinklers that day because it rained.

Earlier this evening we had a relatively gusty windstorm blow through with a bit of lightning and it sprinkled lightly for like five seconds. They reminded us to shut down our sprinklers.

No. I will not. Stop telling me how to use water.

If you’re a neighborhood water Nazi, consider changing your life ambitions.