I have been fortunate enough in my career to rub elbows with (of course, not literally anymore hahahaha) some top-ranked officials, policymakers, business figures, and radio celebrities vis-a-vis our current pandemic. Not to brag, but let's just say compared to any other posters who may have had inside info — this is a little more inside and involved people a lot higher up in the ranks, if you know what I mean. We had a large conference call this morning. I started nodding off about halfway through, but I will share what tidbits I can remember.

First, it should be noted that the vaccine we're all hoping for will turn out to be 15-20% effective at best, slightly worse than the flu vaccine. As a result, we as a society will need to implement some modest longterm distancing strategies, such as the following:

- All work will need to be done remotely, and in due time, robotically. This includes restaurant drive-thrus, pharmacies, even surgeries. Now as you might imagine, the technology for this will take a while to develop. My contacts expect to have it ready by January of 2021.

- Sports will be canceled completely except for tennis, badminton, and NASCAR. There will be virtual cheering sections though, and I hope to have CB's help to Jimmer an upcoming fan contest that will involve clicking on a photo of Dominic Thiem's jawline 500 times an hour.

- There is a movement afoot to process the DNA of current CEOs, actors, and other such important persons and create exact replicas — hosts, if you will — of those persons who will be impervious to the virus. My contacts expect to have this ready by January of 2021.

- Disneyland will be altered. Instead of walking around to different rides, each guest will sit in one of 30,000 virtual reality booths spaced 7 feet apart to experience the Jungle Cruise and other beloved attractions over and over again. Universal Studios is basically already there, so it will remain unchanged.

- Our current models have San Francisco, CA becoming a desolate wasteland by the end of the year. But an intrepid survivor named either Phil or Tandy, can't remember which, will take it upon himself to remodel and repopulate the city.

- Costcos will remain open.

- Families will be limited to a total size of five (5) persons to avoid spreading the virus. Families who already have more than five are allowed to remain legally intact, but they must split into separate households.

That's all I can recall. Anyway, try not to panic. These measures will likely be permanent, but try to remain calm and live your lives as though nothing had changed. GO COUGARS!!