So we got a dog. Nobody will care about the details, so I'll just say that in a moment of Christmas weakness my wife agreed to getting a dog. She swears that conversation never happened (kind of like when we got married), but it did - I think she was texting one of our kids' rides or something. Regardless, I got the dog - mix between a Burmese Mountain Dog and a miniature Poodle. Basically we got a cool dog, then stripped it of all dignity by pairing it with a Poodle. We did weekly dog school for a few weeks and got him house trained and by and large quite obedient. I think it is important to point out that my wife has PTSD (I think literally) from when she was little and got bit between the eyes when she tried to pet a farm dog her grandpa warned her to stay away from. She legit does not like dogs. Well, of course our dog likes her best - follows her everywhere and sits eagerly at her feet wherever she sits down. So my wife has been slowly warming up to the idea of this guy.

Until last night.

I'm in an appointment and I start getting a flury of texts in all caps and exlamation points. Apparently she went in our backyard with him and a baby dove had just left the nest and landed on the grass and our dog went pure primal and sprinted over and destroyed the newb, ripping it into pieces. My daughter gave me the play-by-play and said that my wife started screaming in a panic and ran over to try to stop him and he turned and went total psycho beast mode snarling at her and even charging to attack her as she got close to his booty. My wife stopped and he went back and ground up the bird until it was all gone. He then came trotting triumphantly back towards the house, but now his white fur around his mouth was covered in blood and random bird parts and so she locked him out, completely traumatized by the event.

So when I finally got a break I called her and retold me the experience. Now, the experienced decision would have been to console her and tell her how sorry I was and that there is no excuse for that kind of behavior and I will do some extra training with him to ensure it never happens again. Nope, that response didn't even cross my mind. I also gave into my primal instincts and busted out laughing and then compounded that by expressing how much more respect I have for him than before. So now me and the dog are in the doghouse. I tried to explain that what he did is actually really normal. That he is, in fact, an animal and therefore is going to do animal things. And plus we have doves everywhere and they poop on everything, so really he did us a favor. Nah. Didn't help.

Soooooo I've told my kids to keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't tie him to a bumper or something. We'll see what happens.