I took GrandDaughter1DaBaDe to LES on the 29th for her first-ever live football game. The day before we did a little film review of the Wyoming game because I thought she'd like it better if she knew the basics. When we were done watching I asked her to explain how football works. These are her observations:

"Grandma, the most important thing in football is to score the most points. If you don't score the most points you lose."

"The best way to score points is touchdowns. I hope we can get enough touchdowns to beat...uh, who are we playing again...oh yeah, the farmers. (sings) Bum badumbum bum bum bum."

"It really helps if you can stop the other team from scoring. BYU isn't very good at that. But maybe we can get enough touchdowns."

"We can help them (BYU) by making a lot of noise when the farmers have the ball. Like on their third try to get ten if they didn't get it on their first two tries if we're loud enough it can confuse them and make them make mistakes." (During the game she was pretty upset that BYU had a lot of false starts, observing that we weren't being loud or anything, and it was "the farmers" who were supposed to have false starts, not us.)

"When someone breaks a rule or does something wrong the zebras throw a yellow scrap and punish them."

I responded, "Right, the referees throw a flag." She was NOT having any of it.

"It's NOT a flag. Flags are way bigger and are not shaped like that." (insert dramatic eye roll at grandma's ignorance)

She was annoyed when I explained that there would not be a yellow line on the field in the live game to help her see how many yards were needed. She thought the players and refs would have trouble knowing for sure if the yellow line had been crossed if it was invisible. I laughed and told her that the officials get that wrong a lot.

She was incensed that any player would ever choose to call a fair catch. She explained, "You can get hurt playing football, but you can get hurt doing anything fun. Look at my legs! I have all these scabs (on her knees) because I like to play on the playground at recess. I don't want to quit recess just because I get hurt sometimes. Those guys (football players) shouldn't make choices because they're afraid. If you can get even one step extra that's better than nothing." I told her after watching football for a while she might change her mind on that.

She applied similar logic to fourth downs: "Grandma, the only reason you would kick is because you're afraid you can't get it. You get four tries. You should use them all. Why wouldn't you use one of your tries just because you're scared of the other team?" We had some discussion of the importance of field position--like why using your fourth "try" when the situation is something like 4th and 19 from your own end zone could be a bad idea. She moderated her stance a little after that.

At the game she immediately understood what happened with the pick 6. "It's just like basketball! We stole the ball from the other team and scored!"

It was past her bedtime by halftime and I thought she might want to go home--a suggestion she was NOT okay with. "Are you kidding, Grandma?? We would be bad fans if we left before the end. Our team is staying up late; if they can make it we can make it. We probably just need some more diet coke."

We stayed until the the clock expired. Walking to the car she started to cry because she didn't want to go home.