but you don't know that it absolutely would have been better otherwise. I realize there are instances where it's best to learn from other people's mistakes (like I don't need to do drugs to realize they're bad.) In this scenario, don't try to relive your life through your brother, let him and his wife figure out what they want and deal with the consequences, good or bad. You can't give enough advice to make his marriage perfect.

I know I may be a little too passionate about this, it's not all geared to your situation in particular. I just generally dislike advice like this.