I wish I was you. I bet Brandon does, too.
Maybe if he spent more time prowling online message boards he would find the type of professional nirvana that you have. He'd have to come up with a sweet avatar, though.
Btw, at the risk of validating your stupid remark with a response, I'm pretty sure 3 years in the NFL and 8 years as a D-1 coach (more if he would have wanted) counts as "professional success"... But again, you are obviously the arbiter of such things so it's up to you to decide.