Well, I'm still here. It cost me $9, a couple of borrowed pipe wrenches, one
trip to lowes and a lot of elbow grease, but I got it capped off with no leaks and everything else still works. Also my house didn't blow up. It took me longer than it should have, mostly because the pipe to flare adapter they put in had tapered threads and was in there really good. Lowes didn't have a flare cap big enough to fit the flare fitting, so I had to remove the adapter and put a pipe thread plug in instead. The angle made it really hard to get any leverage while countering against the valve to keep it from coming off too.