air as if I was about to have a baby, and released the kraken. It had been boiling in there all night, and it came rolling out like an opera. Loud, proud, lots of vibrato.

After the explosion, I heard footsteps outside my room, so I opened the door and there was my date. She had returned to have a DTR and heard the whole thing.

We both just stared at each other, neither sure how to get out of the situation. Long story short, she asked if we could talk, I said we could, we defined the relationship, and needless to say it was not a match.