...which I did, and then she said "Does that feel like a uterus to you?"
Then she made me go to the store at 11:30 at night to buy a pregnancy test. The whole time I'm driving to the store and then waiting for her to pee on the stick, I'm thinking to myself: "No way, it's got to be a giant tumor or something, because it just doesn't work that way for us." But sure enough, it was a baby boy (we had an ultrasound the next day to check the gender) and he's been surprising us ever since