Your wife probably needs glasses.

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Apr 24, 2024
12:51:03pm

Malathion All-American

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Malathion

Bio page: Malathion
Joined: Dec 22, 2005
Last login: May 5, 2024
Total posts: 29,449 (10,454 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

Watching the Netflix show Quarterback with my wife when it shows Kirk Cousins' wife. My wife turns to me and says...

Brisket Contributor

Apr 24, 12:11pm

RE: Watching the Netflix show Quarterback with my wife when it shows Kirk

garyfan

Apr 24, 12:14pm

Tell her no but you’d kill to be married to Pat Mahomes’ wife

boorad

Apr 24, 12:14pm

This made me laugh out loud.

Alan Schaefer

Apr 24, 1:39pm

This is almost as bad as her dreaming that you cheated and demanding answers

vagabonder

Apr 24, 12:15pm

I suggest that you go with...

Eddie

Apr 24, 12:15pm

Telling her this guarantees there are no more posterity.

WVU_Prof

Apr 24, 1:08pm

Sounds like you’d appreciate a butter face.

Q-grr

Apr 24, 6:39pm

She was the worst part of the show. I never got to Episode 2 because of her.

TCuz

Apr 24, 12:17pm

*Patrick Mahomes' wife

JuicyJam

Apr 24, 1:28pm

"Well, I haven't seen Kirk's wife try to trap him with mind games... so..."

ryebrye

Apr 24, 12:18pm

TNT would be doomed here. He can't think four moves ahead

TNT

Apr 24, 12:18pm

"You're just as pretty as [her]. You just need a nose job." - Cosmo

2ndTrombone

Apr 24, 12:20pm

Speaking of

TNT

Apr 24, 12:22pm

RE: Watching the Netflix show Quarterback with my wife when it shows Kirk

whoneedscorners?

Apr 24, 12:21pm

This is what you say

cougarblue

Apr 24, 12:22pm

Woah. Heavy

TNT

Apr 24, 12:29pm

Shots fired at cb’s wife’s weight!!!!

mulletino

Apr 24, 1:10pm

Why would you lie?

Baron

Apr 24, 12:38pm

Great idea! Make her feel like her feel like she's totally justified in having

Vincent's Picks

Apr 24, 1:18pm

RE: This is what you say

NorthernLight

Apr 25, 4:23pm

RE: Watching the Netflix show Quarterback with my wife when it shows Kirk

dut99002

Apr 24, 12:22pm

Sound like you’ve been married about 2 years max

IGlowInTheDark

Apr 24, 12:23pm

Women: “Would you love me if I was a worm?”

Ron Mexico

Apr 24, 12:25pm

Are you saying you actually AREN'T a worm?

Eddie

Apr 24, 12:37pm

Well, at least then you’d go with me fishing!

Cougarclaw

Apr 24, 12:59pm

Close! "At least then you could help me test that 'Other-Fish-In-The-Sea'

PGVikingDad

Apr 24, 3:24pm

She’s going to ask to swing

conflictedcoug

Apr 24, 12:32pm

With the Cousins?

2ndTrombone

Apr 24, 12:36pm

No, the neighbor Stan

conflictedcoug

Apr 24, 12:38pm

Probably Stan's wife.

Malathion

Apr 24, 12:47pm

with somebody's cousins ... hopefully not hers?

Digital Gangsta

Apr 24, 1:25pm

Bwhahahahah! If they live in SS or EM it could be a legitimate concern.

Alan Schaefer

Apr 24, 1:19pm

I didn’t realize the community moved out of Draper.

RealComfortableJeans

Apr 24, 4:09pm

The stories I have heard are crazy.

Alan Schaefer

Apr 25, 1:57pm

"I'm sorry ... did you say something?" while staring directly at the tv.

TheSpiker

Apr 24, 12:34pm

*Wife leaves Church* “Yeah, now I’d definitely prefer Mrs Cousins”

Odysseus

Apr 24, 12:37pm

I would say of course. I DMed her last week but nothing. Any luck with Ryan Reynolds? If not I guess we are stuck

Baron

Apr 24, 12:38pm

I’ve been trying to think of something less romantic than saying, “I love you

garyfan

Apr 24, 12:39pm

whenever I get these stupid nonsensical hypothetical wife questions, i always answer

dryflyelk

Apr 24, 12:43pm

RE: Watching the Netflix show Quarterback with my wife when it shows Kirk

Blue Panda

Apr 24, 12:47pm

Normally my wife wouldn't watch sports documentaries with me but she liked Quarterback too, mainly because of the wives

SaturdaySpecialDay

Apr 24, 12:49pm

Your wife probably needs glasses.

Malathion

Apr 24, 12:51pm

yes dear, she is prettier than you but you're my one and only.

qwerew

Apr 24, 12:53pm

Possible response: “Is she objectively pretty? Yes. Am I attracted to her? No…

Traveshamockery

Apr 24, 1:02pm

This guys.

Socrates Johnson

Apr 24, 7:35pm

RE: This guys.

Eddie

Apr 24, 9:03pm

Look around with shifty eyes and ask,”Is this a trap”?

Cobra Venom

Apr 24, 1:04pm

Just sing her this song

BYULAWGUY

Apr 24, 1:05pm

Dang it!

Alan Schaefer

Apr 24, 1:20pm

It is still a great song, and you will get more clicks

BYULAWGUY

Apr 24, 1:25pm

I am so glad someone else knows that song.

BYULAWGUY

Apr 24, 1:30pm

Tell her, "I think I know what you're getting at"

Dryfire

Apr 24, 1:06pm

Here's your solution.

WVU_Prof

Apr 24, 1:07pm

BEST ADVICE I ever received in my life was from my SP prior to getting married

Alan Schaefer

Apr 24, 1:09pm

See my above post

BYULAWGUY

Apr 24, 1:17pm

That's crazy. My YM Pres gave me a little different advice. He said that guys

birds

Apr 25, 7:21am

Looks are the most important thing, at first. If you aren’t physically attracted

Alan Schaefer

Apr 25, 9:53am

I always respond “I don’t know how you want me to respond to this.”

TexanY

Apr 24, 1:15pm

“I don’t know, does she ask baited questions that are impossible to answer

cougaman

Apr 24, 1:29pm

Does this dress make me look fat?

cougarchill

Apr 24, 1:29pm

If the bomb is going to go off either way, just respond with “of course! I bet I could convert her too!”

KingDave

Apr 24, 1:30pm

Based on the fact she asked that question, my answer would be “Yeah. Probably.”

YIsForBrigham

Apr 24, 1:46pm

You just have to hope Jaren Hall or Tanner McKee don’t go on the show or you

DieHarder

Apr 24, 1:55pm

This is not hard gentlemen.

Socrates Johnson

Apr 24, 3:00pm

Please tell me this isn't a real scenario.

PGVikingDad

Apr 24, 3:26pm

RE: Watching the Netflix show Quarterback with my wife when it shows Kirk Cousins' wife. My wife turns to me and says...

BYU Grounds

Apr 24, 3:37pm

"That really depends on whether she asks stupid questions to mask insecurity"

notaboy

Apr 24, 4:30pm

"Are you flirting with me? You're perfect for me! And I can prove it..." 😉

libertycoug

Apr 25, 1:35pm

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