I won't get into all of the details, but I have spent many days at Primary Children's Hospital with a child in the NICU, PICU, CICU, and PACU.

As said above, the key is to balance the line between being helpful/supportive and being intrusive. As a parent, I heard over and over from many good-intentioned people: "How can I help?" This was a hard question to answer, and it was mentally taxing trying to come up with ways for people to help while I was trying to cope with a very difficult situation. Most of the time I would simply thank the person and tell them that there is nothing that I needed even though I knew inside that my wife and I were really struggling and needed a lot of help. Also, I received way too many offers for food. We ended up throwing at least half of it away because we couldn't eat it all.

Here is what I suggest you do:

1) If you know the family well: Don't ask an open-ended question of "what can I do?" or offer food. Rather, think of something meaningful that you can do and then ask the family if you can do it. Come prepared with a plan to help. It could be to take care of their yard or pets while they are with their child in the hospital. It could be cleaning their home for an hour on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It could be watching another of their children after school at your home. If you know the person really well, it may be best to just do the thing and don't even ask.

2) If you don't know the person or family well, but you want to help, ask someone who does know them well how you can help. Ideally, there will be a parent, sibling, or friend of the family who is designated to coordinate help for the family.

3) Finally, send a written card expressing your love and support. Send some cash with the card. Even with insurance and other support, the family's expenses are going to go up. It could be simple things like needing to eat out more, or more serious things like missing income from work or needing to renovate their home to allow for a wheelchair, but the expenses will go up. Cash is better than gift cards because it will allow the family to easily spend the money where they will need it most.

My heart goes out to you and your family, and I wish you the very best!