Our house backs to one of the holes on South Mountain golf course. Some golfers just seem to be bad people. To hit a ball into our yard, you have to have a slice so impressive, it might be time to pick up a different game. If it ends up in our yard, you should probably just put your tail between your legs, and write it up as lost. What irritates me, to no end, are:

1) golfers creeping around our yard, looking for the ball they just almost brained us with;

2) golfers deciding the scrub oak in our back yard is a convenient and appropriate place to pee (especially since they have to pass a bathroom literally seconds before they get to us) - or worse, defecate (it's only happened once; but that was enough); and

3) golfers who, whilst participating in one of the previous two activities, decide it's the perfect time to become not just profane, but vulgar. There's nothing like having a bunch of kids playing outside on a nice spring day, and hearing someone bellow, "Where the ****** did I hit that ********, ******* ball?"