There's a line between being offended (I'm not) and finding someones conduct to cross social lines. You and others want

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Feb 6, 2016
8:54:27am

TaiJuan Toboggan Aficionado

There's a line between being offended (I'm not) and finding someones conduct to cross social lines. You and others want

to short-circuit the discussion by painting anyone who finds the conduct distasteful as someone who is "offended." I can think someone is a jerk (or worse) without being offended. It's a jerk move.

So I'm not offended at all, but I do think the waiter was out of bounds.

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TaiJuan

Previous username: QuinneyCoug
Bio page: TaiJuan
Joined: Jul 20, 2010
Last login: Dec 29, 2023
Total posts: 31,096 (6,132 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

Random post but I went out to dinner tonight at Chili's wearing BYU gear

BLEEDBYUFOOTBALL

2/5/16 10:26pm

Especially if I was expecting a tip from the person. Yikes!

soupie

2/5/16 10:29pm

Not conducive to a good tip.

bbqoug

2/5/16 10:29pm

I wonder if he is looking for a big tip.....not too smart....but a yewt

Real G Man

2/5/16 10:31pm

How much did you tip?

CFMcK

2/5/16 10:33pm

Here's a tip... don't insult paying customers.

VACOUGFAN

2/5/16 10:39pm

Did you start worrying about food tampering

Cthack1

2/5/16 10:33pm

This is what I thought of instantly.

CougsOrDeath

2/5/16 10:35pm

I would have asked for a new server or walked out. There's no chance this

VACOUGFAN

2/5/16 10:38pm

My thought exactly

Coug98

2/5/16 11:13pm

Reminds me of a story told by Lavell's wife Patti. They were at a restaurant

NewMexiCoug

2/6/16 10:44am

Had a salesman do something similar at an appliance store.

VACOUGFAN

2/5/16 10:37pm

I would have demanded to speak to his manager, then after the manager tried to

AntiSNOT

2/6/16 1:00am

Simply a cry for help, "my U degree has done me no favors & I'm jealous of you"

Q-grr

2/5/16 10:38pm

Exactly, my reply would have been something like,

2/6/16 2:32am

I sure hope you stiffed them.

Cougarrrs

2/5/16 10:42pm

Charity never faileth. A good tip might help the kid move out of mom & dad's

Q-grr

2/5/16 10:44pm

Which might make him think that his U degree is paying off lol

Cougarrrs

2/5/16 10:49pm

Me too. No tip + fill out the online survey.

bbqoug

2/5/16 10:46pm

Lol, leave a negative reply because the waiter cracked a joke?

2/6/16 8:19am

Same here...

AntiSNOT

2/6/16 1:01am

Yeah. I've never not tipped, but I wouldn't have in that case.

UNLVcougar

2/5/16 10:44pm

Write on a napkin "MAX WAS RIGHT!!!! Left you something on the concourse."

Q-grr

2/5/16 10:45pm

You should leave a generous tip, and a note that says to apply it

Bob Vance

2/5/16 10:44pm

Do you remember his name ?

2/5/16 10:46pm

Man. Tough crowd in here. It was simple rivalry banter. Who cares?

The Dude Abides

2/5/16 10:57pm

Part of the contract with a server that makes paying his wage via tips acceptable is that he treats me with a modicum of

TaiJuan

2/5/16 11:02pm

With all due respect to the original poster, how many times in history have

The Dude Abides

2/5/16 11:13pm

Why lead with the negativity? Every day I deal in real life with more Utah fans than almost anyone on the board. I have

TaiJuan

2/5/16 11:21pm

I guess? But "I hate that shirt" doesn't need to be met with

The Dude Abides

2/5/16 11:26pm

A lot depends on tone and delivery. If his conduct is something I would never do, I think it's reasonable to judge it to

TaiJuan

2/5/16 11:33pm

Except it was followed by "I hate BYU" that seems a bit more over the top.

soupie

2/6/16 8:56am

In a more adult world, the shirt comment would

LDTemplar

2/6/16 11:21am

You do understand there is difference between confrontational & stupidity. I

Real G Man

2/6/16 8:56am

There is no way this was a confrontational jerk instance

Deleted

2/6/16 8:45am

Hey, I don't know you, but the fact that I prefer another team compels me to tell you, a complete stranger, that I hate

TaiJuan

2/6/16 8:50am

You hate my shirt? I'm so offended

Deleted

2/6/16 8:51am

There's a line between being offended (I'm not) and finding someones conduct to cross social lines. You and others want

TaiJuan

2/6/16 8:54am

this. it doesn't offend me that you hate my school (or any of the teams I

VACOUGFAN

2/6/16 8:56am

A rival is a rival is rival.....one day Chris Hill will get his too

Q-grr

2/5/16 11:04pm

May be you'll just stroll on over and take a sacrament jello shot and a truce

Q-grr

2/5/16 11:05pm

Agreed

shakarocks

2/5/16 11:18pm

Do think a lot depends on tone but this did not sound like it was "light" at all.

soupie

2/5/16 11:25pm

Just assume it's light until it's really obvious that it's not

shakarocks

2/5/16 11:51pm

I don't "bust the chops" of strangers and I expect the same courtesy. I don't do things that I wouldn't want done to me.

TaiJuan

2/5/16 11:56pm

I'll disagree

shakarocks

2/6/16 12:07am

I guess there's at least two types of fans: those who find it appropriate to insult perfect strangers with no provocatio

TaiJuan

2/6/16 7:41am

Who insulted someone in this story?

Deleted

2/6/16 9:13am

It's banter dude

shakarocks

2/6/16 9:49am

Do you live in the SL Valley (I will also accept Davis or Weber County)? If the answer is no, your opinion carries no

TaiJuan

2/6/16 10:00am

Yeah shaka, you're only allowed to weigh in if you live within a certain

jokerman

2/6/16 10:13am

I grew up in the shadow of the U.

shakarocks

2/6/16 1:23pm

Good to know.

TaiJuan

2/6/16 3:06pm

Saying "I hate that shirt and BYU" is more than banter. If he says something

cougaman

2/5/16 11:32pm

Do you live in Utah where you have to deal with these types of punk bandwagon

AntiSNOT

2/6/16 1:03am

But Chilis is my safe space!

2/6/16 1:13am

Guess you just had to be there.

Conan

2/6/16 2:23am

Do you live in Salt Lake County? Ute fans are insufferable. They think their

kansascougar

2/6/16 10:09am

I would have said,...

Traveshamockery

2/5/16 11:20pm

What does that say about a fan base when it doesn't shock me at all that a Ute would say such a thing...

ocmyhome

2/5/16 11:38pm

Max did overstate things, but like a handgrenade, he was in the ballpark

Q-grr

2/5/16 11:41pm

Max's comment was not a big deal at all. I still don't understand why such a big deal was made about

ocmyhome

2/5/16 11:49pm

That is the elephant in the room...ALUFS are all to eager to fade away quitely

Q-grr

2/6/16 12:00am

I have seen this behavior in little kids a lot

BYU '80

2/6/16 7:32am

You should have drawn an upside down Miami U sign in the tip column

cougarbart

2/6/16 12:17am

I don't see how doing or saying bad to this waiter would help. Why make him mad? A bad reaction from the OP would only

HarlemCoug

2/6/16 12:21am

Which location? I wear my Y gear in SL County ALL the time and love the dirty

AntiSNOT

2/6/16 12:54am

You should have asked him for the manager - and

Coug Dude

2/6/16 12:55am

The manager probably would have given the server a high-five.

IndependentGeorge

2/6/16 4:28am

Are you serious? You would ask for a manager because of this? Man BYU fans are sensitive

Deleted

2/6/16 8:48am

I wouldn't have tipped that little punk, just to prove a point that he was rude

AntiSNOT

2/6/16 12:56am

And you would have made an enemy. Pretty sure we don't need more enemies. Just tell the kid you're proud of BYU and

HarlemCoug

2/6/16 9:07am

A tip is for excellent service. Insulting the customer isn't excellent service.

Cougarrrs

2/6/16 9:13am

oh brother - no wonder they dislike us. I even dislike us... I'm asking you please, do not wear BYU gear in public.

HarlemCoug

2/6/16 9:15am

What is wrong with the concept of not tipping a waiter who has said stupid

Real G Man

2/6/16 9:22am

When you wear Blue in public - I'd pref that fellow Cougs took the high road. The kid said something

HarlemCoug

2/6/16 9:24am

But can we at least agree that what he did is not socially appropriate. I am fine with clever ways to deflect or

TaiJuan

2/6/16 9:34am

What is more quiet and gets the point across than not tipping. No one but the

Cougarrrs

2/6/16 9:50am

Yes - we agree on that - I said that what the waiter did was stupid. But I'd prefer we all take the high road

HarlemCoug

2/6/16 11:50am

So the one not tipping is the one who created an enemy, not the one who caused

Real G Man

2/6/16 9:34am

He is already an enemy

LDTemplar

2/6/16 11:27am

why not try to make a friend? why solidify his bias?

HarlemCoug

2/6/16 11:51am

So if the waiter told you he hated your kid (went to the same school) you'd tip?

Cougarrrs

2/6/16 9:31am

Amen to That !!

LDTemplar

2/6/16 11:25am

If you're offended by this waiter's comments then you've taken offense where none was intended.

HarlemCoug

2/6/16 11:53am

None was intended? Really? It sounds like that's exactly what he was intending.

VACOUGFAN

2/6/16 12:10pm

I believe most comments like this waiter's are banter and not malicious. I find it hard to believe than even a Yewt

HarlemCoug

2/6/16 12:20pm

If you dislike us, you should

LDTemplar

2/6/16 11:10am

Remember the story told by the BYU fan about running into some Ute fans

NewMexiCoug

2/6/16 10:48am

So you're saying the waiter should have given them their meal for free? I agree.

Cougarrrs

2/6/16 10:51am

I don't have to teach my kids to dislike the U, their fans do it for me

Hang10

2/6/16 8:52am

It's pretty brave of you to admit you went to Chili's

DapperDan

2/6/16 9:51am

My wife & I have only gone there once, ONCE was more than enough

Real G Man

2/6/16 1:18pm

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