Our dryer died this weekend. My wife sent me to a laundromat to do some emergency clothes loads. That gave me a chance to sit by myself and dig in to a great American novel. but I accidentally left “The Art of The Deal” at home, so instead I decided to start reading Stasis, by Alex Drevessa.

On the back cover I noted that the author recently “dissected a starfish, ran through a thunderstorm, and created the perfect cinnamon role.” I am not sure at all what this book is about but it sounds like a baker’s daughter living in a rainy sea side town wrote it. But then it also says she lives in Missouri. This is all very confusing already.

Chapter 1 was a bit slow, but I made it through. On the very first page a character giggled and I almost gave up. I don't appreciate characters giggling. Especially on page 1 where I don't really know them yet. On page two a character says “enchanting” but it’s a male character so I am willing to give it a pass. I always give the male characters more leeway.

Just a few pages in and already several pages of hints of sexual chemistry between what I assume is the lead male and the lead female (she already smelled his hair a couple of pages back and talked about how good it smelled so...)

Now on page 6 they “debate string theory for a short while”. Uh...I didn’t expect that. In college I never discussed string theory a single time with someone who had smelled my hair. And let’s be honest, I couldn’t debate string theory longer than 1 sentence (I am generally in favor of it, maybe? but only if there is a work requirement and drug testing). And these two characters debate string theory AFTER discussing the ins and outs of Chinese history. On PAGE 6!

These people are making me feel stupid. But I have a bachelor’s degree from the Harvard of the Intermountain West, so I am going to just keep moving along.

By page 10 the male character has offered the female character a job and is ordering her to wear jewelry he likes on her first day of work. I am a little offended at that. This novel seems to have been written prior to the #metoo movement. Hopefully the author has already expressed online regret over her use of patriarchal tropes.

I pause at the end of the first chapter to wonder if the author really did dissect a starfish. Seems like an odd thing to include in a bio unless the book is about dissection or starfish or the beach. None of those came up in Chapter 1.

So far so good. No more giggling after that first time, so that was a relief. Not much action yet. The first chapter was largely a conversation on a couch. Not sure I can take much more of that. I am going to need some gunfights or a red wedding or somebody dying tragically and unnecessarily pretty soon or I am going to lose interest.