a CEO, CFO or some regional/district/nationwide manager?

Dude bags groceries at Smith's and has a linkedIn profile that says he's a successful COO for produce placements within a massive commercial provider throughout the midwest.

I mean, I get it, we're all successful. I'd love to see someone's profile that was like: Changed jobs every 3 years because I can't stand most people and/or they can't stand me. A decent worker, won't commit a crime and can generally do what is asked of me. I'd hire that guy in a minute. Because, you know, I'm the CEO of an empowered isolutions team that focuses on regional product development and placement in over 10,000 North American luxury condos. (Or, you know, I run a satellite installation company out of my basement).