Don't get me started with explaining why. If you haven't lived 50 years with people thinking you're younger than you are, you couldn't understand.

But now, oh the horror. I'm not sure what happened.

I'm a couple of weeks shy of 50 and I think I look about 70. The bags under my eyes sag as much as the bag... well, I don't want to get into that right now. Too personal.

Anyway, I'm scared.