Terry Hoitz (Mark Walberg):
I thinks we've all experienced our own ballet today. A ballet of emotion, and feelings.

Allen Gamble (Will Ferrell):
We might as well call ourselves the Febreeze Brothers because it's feeling so fresh right now.

Captain Gene (Michael Keaton):
(to the Bed Bath & Beyond staff) First things first: the new bath mats are here. Second thing: there's a serial rapist in Crown Heights... sorry, that's from my other job, ignore that. No, wait, don't ignore it, especially if you live in Crown Heights. Walk in pairs.