Next to my wife.

After the movie ends I head to the men’s room to find fresher air and relieve myself. The aftershave follows me in and I look down the row of urinals and see this guy who is the father of one of the boys on my kids basketball team last year.

It all made sense. We used to sit on the other side of the gym because of the strong smell. It’s just too much. Honestly, this guy is surrounded by cowards or he is the most stubborn human alive. How has nobody told him he needs to chill on the sheer volume of this stuff he splashes on his face and who knows where. What is his aftershave budget? Is he covering up something else? How bad could that be? So many questions…

He wraps up before I do so I don’t know if he took the opportunity to spritz on a fresh coat as he leaves the restroom but my wife recognized him as he walked out and we realized we were dealing with the repeat nasal offender.

I walk out and lock eyes in my wife and we started laughing after Sherlock Holmesing this mystery.

Brother - if you are on CB, I only intend for this post to be equally as offensive as your emanations are to my nostrils and lungs, which both burn slightly. You have to figure something out else out. I would rather hyperventilate in a colostomy bag than share a close space with you.

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