My backyard neighbors frequently leave their dog out all night—or at least into the early morning hours. The dog just barks the entire night, without stopping. It then causes my dog to bark (from inside the house, in his kennel). This wakes me up and sometimes my kids.

The city has been called multiple times and either they haven’t responded or they haven’t been able to do anything about it.

The people that live in the house are weird. They are Hispanic and don’t know English hardly at all. They don’t answer their door. I’ve only talked to them once over the fence and it was obvious they only knew a few words in English and weren’t interested in practicing their skills with me. Their lights are on all night long, almost every night. Every room that I can see. But I never see anyone walking around or anything. But then randomly every couple of weeks they will throw a big fiesta late in the night on their back porch, with loud music and loud drunken proclamations from people that make everyone laugh (including me, even though I don’t know what they’re saying).

Anyway, I need a Seinfeld-like intervention, somebody that will dress all in black, steal the dog, and drop it off on a busy city street far away.