identity for your family is overrated, or at least outweighed by the benefits of having family nearby.

I say that with that caveat that it's only true if you like your family, obviously. My wife and I both really like our families, and I just wish we saw them more.

Ideally, I'd live within a couple hours of family, but not in the same town. Close relationships for your kids with their cousins still. Fun at holidays. Easy to put together a family get-together. But don't have to deal with daily drama that can hurt your relationships.