here you go:

Mar 30, 2021
4:20:54pm

Cougarclaw All-American

here you go:

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Cougarclaw

Previous username: BigWoodThunder
Bio page: Cougarclaw
Joined: Jun 22, 2011
Last login: Jun 6, 2024
Total posts: 60,085 (15,090 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em. . .

protonspring

3/30/21 4:10pm

Will 1980's PG do?

Ragnar Danneskjold

3/30/21 4:11pm

I don't know what 1980's PG is.

protonspring

3/30/21 4:13pm

Well there is Airplane

TNT

3/30/21 4:14pm

And Top Secret, and Logan's Run

Gustav

3/30/21 4:15pm

and Doc Hollywood

Saxa

3/30/21 4:16pm

Apparently TNT needs to catch up on some '80s films

TNT

3/30/21 4:17pm

Splash too

Marc Spector

3/30/21 4:19pm

Pg13

yahtzee

3/30/21 4:31pm

And Commando.

(Private)

3/31/21 7:14pm

Hahahaha

chazen

3/30/21 7:18pm

<< Deleted >>

Thrill

3/30/21 5:09pm

If it’s 16 candles PG he will be very surprised

LumberCoug

3/30/21 4:18pm

So like a Top Gun sex scene?

LaVellIfIKnow

3/30/21 4:25pm

I assume you are looking for a CBer to do it? If so, I am pretty sure CDV has

Baron

3/30/21 4:11pm

Don't care. . anyone that can pull off the joke.

protonspring

3/30/21 4:14pm

Try CDV. But if he really gets going have a quick hook. He likes to

Baron

3/30/21 4:15pm

I'll do it

Alpi Gusto

3/30/21 4:11pm

RE: I'll do it

ElCapo

3/30/21 4:20pm

RE: I'll do it

yahtzee

3/30/21 4:22pm

Yeah there's no way this could go wrong. 🙂

gwalker

3/30/21 4:11pm

When is the party?

Sea Chicken

3/30/21 4:11pm

If I pay someone $200 to dance for 10 min, and I going to ruin their life?

protonspring

3/30/21 4:12pm

This sounds like a Michael Scott production

SJS

3/30/21 4:12pm

Or Michael Bay?

TNT

3/30/21 4:13pm

RE: Or Michael Bay?

yahtzee

3/30/21 4:25pm

Threat Level Bachelor Party

gwalker

3/30/21 4:13pm

What in the world

LaVellIfIKnow

3/30/21 4:13pm

You really logged on to cougarboard.com and posted in search of a PG stripper.

DieHarder

3/30/21 4:13pm

Yes I did. . . I need serious help. . .

protonspring

3/30/21 4:14pm

Yes. You certainly do.

rockhound

3/30/21 4:40pm

Get PGViking to Strip for him

IceBlueCoug

3/30/21 4:21pm

I may know a few divorced mid singles that would do this for free for you

USMCdad

3/30/21 4:14pm

Please. . anyone. . I'm dying, but this HAS to be done.

protonspring

3/30/21 4:15pm

Like deathbed?

TNT

3/30/21 4:18pm

CB doctor: Stat!

TNT

3/30/21 4:41pm

I had this done for an answer for a college dance, plenty of freebies available

3/30/21 4:17pm

and. . how do I go about finding one of these?

protonspring

3/30/21 4:21pm

well in my case it was reciprocal

3/30/21 4:45pm

Username checks out.

IdahoCoug

3/30/21 6:20pm

Board name checks out

jkccoug

3/30/21 11:19pm

He said hes looking for a good looking girl.

Backcountry

3/30/21 5:40pm

I’m sure there’s a few ladies in the ward that would do it #sidegig

pink22

3/30/21 4:14pm

OK, this sounds like you might like it more than your son

Samuel Hall Society

3/30/21 4:15pm

TNT right now...

cougarfanatic

3/30/21 4:15pm

Hey hey. He is married now

TNT

3/30/21 4:19pm

WHAT?!? When did that happen?

Smack'sWife

3/30/21 4:21pm

RE: Hey hey. He is married now

cougarfanatic

3/30/21 4:29pm

Does she post on CB too?

mwcoug

3/30/21 4:31pm

What does that have to do with anything?

bluecheese

3/30/21 4:34pm

RE: Hey hey. He is married now

yahtzee

3/30/21 4:38pm

RE: Hey hey. He is married now

Eddie

3/30/21 4:43pm

I actually really liked that movie.

mvtoro

3/30/21 8:50pm

RE: Hey hey. He is married now

RealSimsShadY

3/30/21 5:00pm

So you know what to do for the bachelor party. Who came to dance at yours?

sah22

3/30/21 7:30pm

TNTUW?

dYrtbYkerYder

3/30/21 11:07pm

It doesn’t count if you marry yourself 😉

ByuImaginesDragons

3/31/21 12:17am

Potential for top 10 all time CB thread here guys.

Grit for Brains

3/30/21 4:15pm

RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.

Saxa

3/30/21 4:16pm

Maybe you could get this guy involved...

boorad

3/30/21 4:16pm

It's not THAT kind of cougar board, you realize?

yahtzee

3/30/21 4:16pm

oh dang. . my bad. . sry. 🙂

protonspring

3/30/21 4:17pm

RE: It's not THAT kind of cougar board, you realize?

Cougarclaw

3/30/21 4:18pm

Pics or it didn’t happen.

Big Tuna

3/30/21 4:16pm

RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.

carcoug

3/30/21 4:17pm

protonspring and his son:

Gustav

3/30/21 4:17pm

What if he gets into it more than you think he should?

benny1982

3/30/21 4:17pm

Have someone shout "KEEP THAT HEART LOCKED, ELDER!"

RyneK

3/30/21 4:18pm

Just call a normal stripper. As long as your cash is green I'm sure she'll be

joelvandyne

3/30/21 4:17pm

How in the world do I find one of those?

protonspring

3/30/21 4:18pm

here you go:

Cougarclaw

3/30/21 4:20pm

Most clicks/reads on the thread! 🤣

mvtoro

3/30/21 8:52pm

Stake out the bank and approach anyone who deposits a large stack of singles.

joelvandyne

3/30/21 4:21pm

That's only half of the process. Need to see if the ones smell like shame

RealSimsShadY

3/30/21 5:03pm

RE: How in the world do I find one of those?

SpotOnOpinionsGuy

3/30/21 4:23pm

Probably not. I bet she is just looking to sin more.

Baron

3/30/21 4:19pm

Won’t work. He said he wanted good looking.

Cougar Jazz Fan

3/30/21 4:35pm

Get a girl from the UVU dance team

WhirleyPop

3/30/21 4:17pm

We always went to UVU for this sort of thing

Grit for Brains

3/30/21 4:17pm

RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.

mwcoug

3/30/21 4:18pm

I'm dying with the responses, but seriously. . .

protonspring

3/30/21 4:20pm

Cache Valley? This just keeps getting better

Cru Jones

3/30/21 4:21pm

Cache Valley? I thought you wanted Pleasant Grove! What was the whole PG rated?

libertycoug

3/30/21 9:29pm

Auditions sound in order.

IceCreamButt

3/30/21 4:19pm

Uhh, . .don't do it. Even though you think it could be fun. It might backfire big time even if she does nothing "wrong."

lightmann

3/30/21 4:20pm

RE: Uhh, . .don't do it. Even though you think it could be fun. It might backfire big time even if she does nothing

Grit for Brains

3/30/21 4:20pm

Get his fiancé's sister or best friend to do it

IceBlueCoug

3/30/21 4:20pm

Yeah. . I think this is the best plan so far.

protonspring

3/30/21 4:28pm

What, so he sees her every family reunion and thinks...what if?

Samuel Hall Society

3/30/21 4:30pm

Like that won’t happen anyways.

Zaphod

3/30/21 5:31pm

Like this?

SpotOnOpinionsGuy

3/30/21 4:21pm

winner....hahahaha

cambo

3/30/21 4:41pm

My favorite part of the OP....."Do I need to hold auditions?"

carcoug

3/30/21 4:21pm

If you REALLY want to scare him...

CocaColaRecovery

3/30/21 4:21pm

MIL!!

IceBlueCoug

3/30/21 4:22pm

reminds me of the recent story in England.

85fan

3/31/21 7:24am

RE: If you REALLY want to scare him...

Marc Spector

3/30/21 4:22pm

Hmm. . not a bad idea. . if we blind fold him.. . . this could work!

protonspring

3/30/21 4:22pm

RE: Hmm. . not a bad idea. . if we blind fold him.. . . this could work!

Grit for Brains

3/30/21 4:23pm

This would make for a great reverse

Marc Spector

3/30/21 4:21pm

m0resn0w getting on CB after being off for a while thinking this IS the reverse

m0resn0w

3/31/21 5:12am

I hope your son and his fiancee have a sense of humor

kimdaddy35

3/30/21 4:22pm

Possibly. . I will tread carefully.

protonspring

3/30/21 4:22pm

I would get her permission

kimdaddy35

3/30/21 4:24pm

Good idea. . I will ask.

protonspring

3/30/21 4:25pm

Better yet, have the fiance where a mask and do it. That way you can get the

Cougero

3/30/21 4:34pm

That doesn't seem better

IceCreamButt

3/30/21 4:35pm

This would be if her humor matched that of the FIL. It would avoid potential

Cougero

3/30/21 4:40pm

This is not a good idea

yahtzee

3/30/21 4:37pm

Nothing about this thread is a good idea

cougarfann888

3/30/21 4:47pm

RE: Better yet, have the fiance where a mask and do it. That way you can get

libertycoug

3/30/21 9:33pm

She could help set it up that way even.

Grit for Brains

3/30/21 4:25pm

If she agrees to treat her future husband this way, you're setting up trust issues between the two of them. I wouldn't

Smack'sWife

3/30/21 4:26pm

She married a Ute, but nevertheless...

yahtzee

3/30/21 4:28pm

Wait what? You wouldn't marry someone who played a tiny little prank on you?

kimdaddy35

3/30/21 4:30pm

But it’s also awkward position to be put in. She is going to try and

cougarfann888

3/30/21 4:49pm

RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.

WhirleyPop

3/30/21 4:23pm

Tell the future wife about the plan and I bet you anything she will have a

byubatman

3/30/21 4:26pm

Great idea. . thx.

protonspring

3/30/21 4:26pm

“Do you have any cute friends that might want to pretend to be strippers”

cougarfann888

3/30/21 4:34pm

This whole thing is awkward. . maybe I should bail.

protonspring

3/30/21 4:49pm

No, don't bail. This thread is just getting good!

IAmSpartyCoug

3/30/21 4:55pm

If you are open to blind folding him I have a scenario for you. Get some other

CougaRR4L

3/30/21 4:37pm

This is a very strange idea. "Remember that time my dad had you come do a sensuous dance around me while all my mission

vegasnative

3/30/21 4:43pm

Truth be told if he is blind folded there is no need to dance but everything

CougaRR4L

3/30/21 4:53pm

That's the goal.

protonspring

3/30/21 4:55pm

In this case, wouldn’t even need a girl to do it. Could have a girl there before

Kavorka

3/30/21 4:57pm

I like this idea too. . . a little more safe than my initial one.

protonspring

3/30/21 4:50pm

^^-- This... If you're set on doing its

AFewThoughts

3/30/21 4:45pm

Abort! Abort!

Swish

3/30/21 4:26pm

He's a dude, of course he'll like it

palangi

3/31/21 9:45pm

I disagree.

(Private)

3/31/21 10:06pm

RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.

RexIdaCoug

3/30/21 4:26pm

There is no way this could go wrong. Thanks for putting this in the business

CougaRR4L

3/30/21 4:28pm

Please document the whole thing, then return and report.

Kavorka

3/30/21 4:28pm

I'll record it. . . If something awesome happens, I'll report.

protonspring

3/30/21 4:30pm

This is the content we’re here for.

Junior Deputy

3/30/21 4:30pm

RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.

Coach's Dad

3/30/21 4:32pm

All his years living as a repressed conservative

Beggar

3/30/21 4:33pm

This kind of prank sounds funny, but can really backfire!

85fan

3/31/21 7:17am

Why not just go to H o o t e r s

DKN

3/30/21 4:34pm

This might be the dumbest idea ever posted on Cougarboard. But please, do it and report back. Record it if possible.

vegasnative

3/30/21 4:35pm

You have no idea what I am capable of

protonspring

3/30/21 4:47pm

RE: You have no idea what I am capable of

David Lo Pan

3/30/21 4:58pm

Pics or it never happened.

BostonCougar

3/30/21 4:38pm

My HS GF delivered messages in a French Maid outfit for hire

TomPetty

3/30/21 4:54pm

They definitely exist, someone called a lady like this to an office I worked at

Thrill

3/30/21 5:00pm

Yeah. . that's the idea, but that's WAY more than what I'm wanting. .

protonspring

3/30/21 5:03pm

Our grad school class did this with one of the older proffs for his birthday. Some people thought it was hilarious.

lightmann

3/30/21 5:22pm

RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.

Cabadapeste

3/30/21 5:04pm

Is that not what tennis rackets in the window are for signaling?

Gustav

3/30/21 5:04pm

Now that is going back a ways!

TomPetty

3/30/21 5:10pm

Mormon Father of the Year award

4slyce

3/30/21 5:18pm

Darn. After talking w/ fiance, it's a no go.

protonspring

3/30/21 6:34pm

RE: Darn. After talking w/ fiance, it's a no go.

Backcountry

3/30/21 6:43pm

You actually talked to her about it.

Cougero

3/30/21 6:43pm

RE: Darn. After talking w/ fiance, it's a no go.

Cabadapeste

3/30/21 6:49pm

Is your first name Steven? Last name Powell?

LaVellIfIKnow

3/30/21 7:08pm

She’s probably calling things off with your son right now. “Um honey..your dad

Mr. Rumsfield

3/30/21 8:01pm

Too bad. We did this to our Friend at BYU. It was amazing to watch his face.

andrewth

3/30/21 8:19pm

She's probably trying to figure out how to back out of your family now.

Bandersnatch

3/30/21 8:33pm

She sounds like a blast.

crazY

3/30/21 9:04pm

RE: Darn. After talking w/ fiance, it's a no go.

Magathisll

3/30/21 9:14pm

Too bad. However, the obvious answer is to now hire a pg-13 stripper for her party as a surprise.

Cru Jones

3/30/21 9:31pm

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Cougar Junkie

3/30/21 9:39pm

Dad of groom hiring a dancer for a bachelor party, not creepy at all!

BYUBandfan

3/30/21 11:02pm

Sad that something like this makes someone uncomfortable

Princepete

3/31/21 12:06am

Good for her.

DMVCougar

3/31/21 7:34am

So are you holding auditions now for coed volleyball players?

Sale

3/31/21 11:16am

Your GIF is the only reason needed to stop trans sports

RealSimsShadY

3/31/21 11:23am

Did you ask if she was okay if you got a male dancer? If the point is to make him uncomfortable, that would do it.

vegasnative

3/31/21 11:44am

Do it anyway. What’s she going to do, call it off?

DieHarder

4/2/21 8:36pm

Didn’t see this post before I responded to the OP. I too suggested talking to

ColonelMustard

4/3/21 12:52am

To really freak him out get a sister from his mission.

jkccoug

3/30/21 6:48pm

Haha. I'm dying!

chazen

3/30/21 7:18pm

To really REALLY freak him out get his actual sister

Martin Van Nostrand

3/30/21 7:23pm

If this isn't a reverse post it is one of my favourites of all time.

chazen

3/30/21 7:17pm

You find what you are looking for any Vasa fitness

chazen

3/30/21 7:21pm

Awesome

jkccoug

3/30/21 7:33pm

To pull it off you'll probably have to get a REAL stripper and tell her to stop

SoValleyCOUG

3/30/21 7:59pm

I just picture OP tapping what he knows he wants, into Google... but just can’t

Fishious

3/30/21 8:02pm

This is very very accurate.

protonspring

3/30/21 10:33pm

Just sent you a boardmail with some details

Mr. Rumsfield

3/30/21 8:06pm

This post made my day

Esmitty91

3/30/21 8:10pm

Where do we go to audition?

Veracruz

3/30/21 9:01pm

A real stripper would gladly do this

Gunga Galunga

3/30/21 9:15pm

Lol this is funny. Wish more people were willing to do stupid stuff like this

Princepete

3/30/21 10:10pm

You shouldn't have mentioned it to his fiancee. It's easier to ask for

Cougar Junkie

3/30/21 10:28pm

This is the best post of all time.

macdizzle

3/30/21 11:39pm

I’ve had many friends in wards do similar things actually. I did a PG strip

ColonelMustard

3/31/21 11:05am

One other thing...the bride’s mom was there too and was laughing hysterically.

ColonelMustard

3/31/21 11:12am

The bride's mom was at the Bachelor party?

Marc Spector

3/31/21 11:19am

bachelorette

runnincoug

3/31/21 11:20am

RE: bachelorette

Marc Spector

3/31/21 11:27am

Freaking hilarious! People like you make the world go round

chazen

3/31/21 12:08pm

I don't think this is nearly as common as you think it is. hahaha

vegasnative

3/31/21 11:46am

Said the guy who lives in Vegas on purpose

chazen

3/31/21 12:08pm

RE: Said the guy who lives in Vegas on purpose

vegasnative

3/31/21 12:30pm

I'm just gonna say don't do it. Do something you'll all love.

(Private)

3/31/21 10:07pm

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