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Mar 30, 2021
6:43
:02
pm
Backcountry
All-American
RE: Darn. After talking w/ fiance, it's a no go.
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Backcountry
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The Lone Wolf
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Simple Jack
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Backcountry
Joined
Sep 6, 2008
Last login
Aug 8, 2023
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Messages
Author
Time
I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em. . .
protonspring
3/30/21 4:10pm
Will 1980's PG do?
Ragnar Danneskjold
3/30/21 4:11pm
I don't know what 1980's PG is.
protonspring
3/30/21 4:13pm
Well there is Airplane
TNT
3/30/21 4:14pm
And Top Secret, and Logan's Run
Gustav
3/30/21 4:15pm
and Doc Hollywood
Saxa
3/30/21 4:16pm
Apparently TNT needs to catch up on some '80s films
TNT
3/30/21 4:17pm
Splash too
Marc Spector
3/30/21 4:19pm
Pg13
yahtzee
3/30/21 4:31pm
And Commando.
(Private)
3/31/21 7:14pm
Hahahaha
chazen
3/30/21 7:18pm
<< Deleted >>
Thrill
3/30/21 5:09pm
If it’s 16 candles PG he will be very surprised
LumberCoug
3/30/21 4:18pm
So like a Top Gun sex scene?
LaVellIfIKnow
3/30/21 4:25pm
I assume you are looking for a CBer to do it? If so, I am pretty sure CDV has
Baron
3/30/21 4:11pm
Don't care. . anyone that can pull off the joke.
protonspring
3/30/21 4:14pm
Try CDV. But if he really gets going have a quick hook. He likes to
Baron
3/30/21 4:15pm
I'll do it
Alpi Gusto
3/30/21 4:11pm
RE: I'll do it
ElCapo
3/30/21 4:20pm
RE: I'll do it
yahtzee
3/30/21 4:22pm
Yeah there's no way this could go wrong. 🙂
gwalker
3/30/21 4:11pm
When is the party?
Sea Chicken
3/30/21 4:11pm
If I pay someone $200 to dance for 10 min, and I going to ruin their life?
protonspring
3/30/21 4:12pm
This sounds like a Michael Scott production
SJS
3/30/21 4:12pm
Or Michael Bay?
TNT
3/30/21 4:13pm
RE: Or Michael Bay?
yahtzee
3/30/21 4:25pm
Threat Level Bachelor Party
gwalker
3/30/21 4:13pm
What in the world
LaVellIfIKnow
3/30/21 4:13pm
You really logged on to cougarboard.com and posted in search of a PG stripper.
DieHarder
3/30/21 4:13pm
Yes I did. . . I need serious help. . .
protonspring
3/30/21 4:14pm
Yes. You certainly do.
rockhound
3/30/21 4:40pm
Get PGViking to Strip for him
IceBlueCoug
3/30/21 4:21pm
I may know a few divorced mid singles that would do this for free for you
USMCdad
3/30/21 4:14pm
Please. . anyone. . I'm dying, but this HAS to be done.
protonspring
3/30/21 4:15pm
Like deathbed?
TNT
3/30/21 4:18pm
CB doctor: Stat!
TNT
3/30/21 4:41pm
I had this done for an answer for a college dance, plenty of freebies available
g$
3/30/21 4:17pm
and. . how do I go about finding one of these?
protonspring
3/30/21 4:21pm
well in my case it was reciprocal
g$
3/30/21 4:45pm
Username checks out.
IdahoCoug
3/30/21 6:20pm
Board name checks out
jkccoug
3/30/21 11:19pm
He said hes looking for a good looking girl.
Backcountry
3/30/21 5:40pm
I’m sure there’s a few ladies in the ward that would do it #sidegig
pink22
3/30/21 4:14pm
OK, this sounds like you might like it more than your son
Samuel Hall Society
3/30/21 4:15pm
TNT right now...
cougarfanatic
3/30/21 4:15pm
Hey hey. He is married now
TNT
3/30/21 4:19pm
WHAT?!? When did that happen?
Smack'sWife
3/30/21 4:21pm
RE: Hey hey. He is married now
cougarfanatic
3/30/21 4:29pm
Does she post on CB too?
mwcoug
3/30/21 4:31pm
What does that have to do with anything?
bluecheese
3/30/21 4:34pm
RE: Hey hey. He is married now
yahtzee
3/30/21 4:38pm
RE: Hey hey. He is married now
Eddie
3/30/21 4:43pm
I actually really liked that movie.
mvtoro
3/30/21 8:50pm
RE: Hey hey. He is married now
RealSimsShadY
3/30/21 5:00pm
So you know what to do for the bachelor party. Who came to dance at yours?
sah22
3/30/21 7:30pm
TNTUW?
dYrtbYkerYder
3/30/21 11:07pm
It doesn’t count if you marry yourself 😉
ByuImaginesDragons
3/31/21 12:17am
Potential for top 10 all time CB thread here guys.
Grit for Brains
3/30/21 4:15pm
RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.
Saxa
3/30/21 4:16pm
Maybe you could get this guy involved...
boorad
3/30/21 4:16pm
It's not THAT kind of cougar board, you realize?
yahtzee
3/30/21 4:16pm
oh dang. . my bad. . sry. 🙂
protonspring
3/30/21 4:17pm
RE: It's not THAT kind of cougar board, you realize?
Cougarclaw
3/30/21 4:18pm
Pics or it didn’t happen.
Big Tuna
3/30/21 4:16pm
RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.
carcoug
3/30/21 4:17pm
protonspring and his son:
Gustav
3/30/21 4:17pm
What if he gets into it more than you think he should?
benny1982
3/30/21 4:17pm
Have someone shout "KEEP THAT HEART LOCKED, ELDER!"
RyneK
3/30/21 4:18pm
Just call a normal stripper. As long as your cash is green I'm sure she'll be
joelvandyne
3/30/21 4:17pm
How in the world do I find one of those?
protonspring
3/30/21 4:18pm
here you go:
Cougarclaw
3/30/21 4:20pm
Most clicks/reads on the thread! 🤣
mvtoro
3/30/21 8:52pm
Stake out the bank and approach anyone who deposits a large stack of singles.
joelvandyne
3/30/21 4:21pm
That's only half of the process. Need to see if the ones smell like shame
RealSimsShadY
3/30/21 5:03pm
RE: How in the world do I find one of those?
SpotOnOpinionsGuy
3/30/21 4:23pm
Probably not. I bet she is just looking to sin more.
Baron
3/30/21 4:19pm
Won’t work. He said he wanted good looking.
Cougar Jazz Fan
3/30/21 4:35pm
Get a girl from the UVU dance team
WhirleyPop
3/30/21 4:17pm
We always went to UVU for this sort of thing
Grit for Brains
3/30/21 4:17pm
RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.
mwcoug
3/30/21 4:18pm
I'm dying with the responses, but seriously. . .
protonspring
3/30/21 4:20pm
Cache Valley? This just keeps getting better
Cru Jones
3/30/21 4:21pm
Cache Valley? I thought you wanted Pleasant Grove! What was the whole PG rated?
libertycoug
3/30/21 9:29pm
Auditions sound in order.
IceCreamButt
3/30/21 4:19pm
Uhh, . .don't do it. Even though you think it could be fun. It might backfire big time even if she does nothing "wrong."
lightmann
3/30/21 4:20pm
RE: Uhh, . .don't do it. Even though you think it could be fun. It might backfire big time even if she does nothing
Grit for Brains
3/30/21 4:20pm
Get his fiancé's sister or best friend to do it
IceBlueCoug
3/30/21 4:20pm
Yeah. . I think this is the best plan so far.
protonspring
3/30/21 4:28pm
What, so he sees her every family reunion and thinks...what if?
Samuel Hall Society
3/30/21 4:30pm
Like that won’t happen anyways.
Zaphod
3/30/21 5:31pm
Like this?
SpotOnOpinionsGuy
3/30/21 4:21pm
winner....hahahaha
cambo
3/30/21 4:41pm
My favorite part of the OP....."Do I need to hold auditions?"
carcoug
3/30/21 4:21pm
If you REALLY want to scare him...
CocaColaRecovery
3/30/21 4:21pm
MIL!!
IceBlueCoug
3/30/21 4:22pm
reminds me of the recent story in England.
85fan
3/31/21 7:24am
RE: If you REALLY want to scare him...
Marc Spector
3/30/21 4:22pm
Hmm. . not a bad idea. . if we blind fold him.. . . this could work!
protonspring
3/30/21 4:22pm
RE: Hmm. . not a bad idea. . if we blind fold him.. . . this could work!
Grit for Brains
3/30/21 4:23pm
This would make for a great reverse
Marc Spector
3/30/21 4:21pm
m0resn0w getting on CB after being off for a while thinking this IS the reverse
m0resn0w
3/31/21 5:12am
I hope your son and his fiancee have a sense of humor
kimdaddy35
3/30/21 4:22pm
Possibly. . I will tread carefully.
protonspring
3/30/21 4:22pm
I would get her permission
kimdaddy35
3/30/21 4:24pm
Good idea. . I will ask.
protonspring
3/30/21 4:25pm
Better yet, have the fiance where a mask and do it. That way you can get the
Cougero
3/30/21 4:34pm
That doesn't seem better
IceCreamButt
3/30/21 4:35pm
This would be if her humor matched that of the FIL. It would avoid potential
Cougero
3/30/21 4:40pm
This is not a good idea
yahtzee
3/30/21 4:37pm
Nothing about this thread is a good idea
cougarfann888
3/30/21 4:47pm
RE: Better yet, have the fiance where a mask and do it. That way you can get
libertycoug
3/30/21 9:33pm
She could help set it up that way even.
Grit for Brains
3/30/21 4:25pm
If she agrees to treat her future husband this way, you're setting up trust issues between the two of them. I wouldn't
Smack'sWife
3/30/21 4:26pm
She married a Ute, but nevertheless...
yahtzee
3/30/21 4:28pm
Wait what? You wouldn't marry someone who played a tiny little prank on you?
kimdaddy35
3/30/21 4:30pm
But it’s also awkward position to be put in. She is going to try and
cougarfann888
3/30/21 4:49pm
RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.
WhirleyPop
3/30/21 4:23pm
Tell the future wife about the plan and I bet you anything she will have a
byubatman
3/30/21 4:26pm
Great idea. . thx.
protonspring
3/30/21 4:26pm
“Do you have any cute friends that might want to pretend to be strippers”
cougarfann888
3/30/21 4:34pm
This whole thing is awkward. . maybe I should bail.
protonspring
3/30/21 4:49pm
No, don't bail. This thread is just getting good!
IAmSpartyCoug
3/30/21 4:55pm
If you are open to blind folding him I have a scenario for you. Get some other
CougaRR4L
3/30/21 4:37pm
This is a very strange idea. "Remember that time my dad had you come do a sensuous dance around me while all my mission
vegasnative
3/30/21 4:43pm
Truth be told if he is blind folded there is no need to dance but everything
CougaRR4L
3/30/21 4:53pm
That's the goal.
protonspring
3/30/21 4:55pm
In this case, wouldn’t even need a girl to do it. Could have a girl there before
Kavorka
3/30/21 4:57pm
I like this idea too. . . a little more safe than my initial one.
protonspring
3/30/21 4:50pm
^^-- This... If you're set on doing its
AFewThoughts
3/30/21 4:45pm
Abort! Abort!
Swish
3/30/21 4:26pm
He's a dude, of course he'll like it
palangi
3/31/21 9:45pm
I disagree.
(Private)
3/31/21 10:06pm
RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.
RexIdaCoug
3/30/21 4:26pm
There is no way this could go wrong. Thanks for putting this in the business
CougaRR4L
3/30/21 4:28pm
Please document the whole thing, then return and report.
Kavorka
3/30/21 4:28pm
I'll record it. . . If something awesome happens, I'll report.
protonspring
3/30/21 4:30pm
This is the content we’re here for.
Junior Deputy
3/30/21 4:30pm
RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.
Coach's Dad
3/30/21 4:32pm
All his years living as a repressed conservative
Beggar
3/30/21 4:33pm
This kind of prank sounds funny, but can really backfire!
85fan
3/31/21 7:17am
Why not just go to H o o t e r s
DKN
3/30/21 4:34pm
This might be the dumbest idea ever posted on Cougarboard. But please, do it and report back. Record it if possible.
vegasnative
3/30/21 4:35pm
You have no idea what I am capable of
protonspring
3/30/21 4:47pm
RE: You have no idea what I am capable of
David Lo Pan
3/30/21 4:58pm
Pics or it never happened.
BostonCougar
3/30/21 4:38pm
My HS GF delivered messages in a French Maid outfit for hire
TomPetty
3/30/21 4:54pm
They definitely exist, someone called a lady like this to an office I worked at
Thrill
3/30/21 5:00pm
Yeah. . that's the idea, but that's WAY more than what I'm wanting. .
protonspring
3/30/21 5:03pm
Our grad school class did this with one of the older proffs for his birthday. Some people thought it was hilarious.
lightmann
3/30/21 5:22pm
RE: I need a bachelor party dancer. . . PG rated, but good enough to scare 'em.
Cabadapeste
3/30/21 5:04pm
Is that not what tennis rackets in the window are for signaling?
Gustav
3/30/21 5:04pm
Now that is going back a ways!
TomPetty
3/30/21 5:10pm
Mormon Father of the Year award
4slyce
3/30/21 5:18pm
Darn. After talking w/ fiance, it's a no go.
protonspring
3/30/21 6:34pm
RE: Darn. After talking w/ fiance, it's a no go.
Backcountry
3/30/21 6:43pm
You actually talked to her about it.
Cougero
3/30/21 6:43pm
RE: Darn. After talking w/ fiance, it's a no go.
Cabadapeste
3/30/21 6:49pm
Is your first name Steven? Last name Powell?
LaVellIfIKnow
3/30/21 7:08pm
She’s probably calling things off with your son right now. “Um honey..your dad
Mr. Rumsfield
3/30/21 8:01pm
Too bad. We did this to our Friend at BYU. It was amazing to watch his face.
andrewth
3/30/21 8:19pm
She's probably trying to figure out how to back out of your family now.
Bandersnatch
3/30/21 8:33pm
She sounds like a blast.
crazY
3/30/21 9:04pm
RE: Darn. After talking w/ fiance, it's a no go.
Magathisll
3/30/21 9:14pm
Too bad. However, the obvious answer is to now hire a pg-13 stripper for her party as a surprise.
Cru Jones
3/30/21 9:31pm
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Cougar Junkie
3/30/21 9:39pm
Dad of groom hiring a dancer for a bachelor party, not creepy at all!
BYUBandfan
3/30/21 11:02pm
Sad that something like this makes someone uncomfortable
Princepete
3/31/21 12:06am
Good for her.
DMVCougar
3/31/21 7:34am
So are you holding auditions now for coed volleyball players?
Sale
3/31/21 11:16am
Your GIF is the only reason needed to stop trans sports
RealSimsShadY
3/31/21 11:23am
Did you ask if she was okay if you got a male dancer? If the point is to make him uncomfortable, that would do it.
vegasnative
3/31/21 11:44am
Do it anyway. What’s she going to do, call it off?
DieHarder
4/2/21 8:36pm
Didn’t see this post before I responded to the OP. I too suggested talking to
ColonelMustard
4/3/21 12:52am
To really freak him out get a sister from his mission.
jkccoug
3/30/21 6:48pm
Haha. I'm dying!
chazen
3/30/21 7:18pm
To really REALLY freak him out get his actual sister
Martin Van Nostrand
3/30/21 7:23pm
If this isn't a reverse post it is one of my favourites of all time.
chazen
3/30/21 7:17pm
You find what you are looking for any Vasa fitness
chazen
3/30/21 7:21pm
Awesome
jkccoug
3/30/21 7:33pm
To pull it off you'll probably have to get a REAL stripper and tell her to stop
SoValleyCOUG
3/30/21 7:59pm
I just picture OP tapping what he knows he wants, into Google... but just can’t
Fishious
3/30/21 8:02pm
This is very very accurate.
protonspring
3/30/21 10:33pm
Just sent you a boardmail with some details
Mr. Rumsfield
3/30/21 8:06pm
This post made my day
Esmitty91
3/30/21 8:10pm
Where do we go to audition?
Veracruz
3/30/21 9:01pm
A real stripper would gladly do this
Gunga Galunga
3/30/21 9:15pm
Lol this is funny. Wish more people were willing to do stupid stuff like this
Princepete
3/30/21 10:10pm
You shouldn't have mentioned it to his fiancee. It's easier to ask for
Cougar Junkie
3/30/21 10:28pm
This is the best post of all time.
macdizzle
3/30/21 11:39pm
Does he or she need to be from Pleasant Grove?
byuguns55
3/31/21 7:04am
Northern Utah County shots fired . . .
85fan
3/31/21 7:21am
I’ve had many friends in wards do similar things actually. I did a PG strip
ColonelMustard
3/31/21 11:05am
One other thing...the bride’s mom was there too and was laughing hysterically.
ColonelMustard
3/31/21 11:12am
The bride's mom was at the Bachelor party?
Marc Spector
3/31/21 11:19am
bachelorette
runnincoug
3/31/21 11:20am
RE: bachelorette
Marc Spector
3/31/21 11:27am
Freaking hilarious! People like you make the world go round
chazen
3/31/21 12:08pm
I don't think this is nearly as common as you think it is. hahaha
vegasnative
3/31/21 11:46am
Said the guy who lives in Vegas on purpose
chazen
3/31/21 12:08pm
RE: Said the guy who lives in Vegas on purpose
vegasnative
3/31/21 12:30pm
I'm just gonna say don't do it. Do something you'll all love.
(Private)
3/31/21 10:07pm
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