My neighbor, who’s a Ute fan, just told me a shocking tale. He was walking into a restaurant with his Ute hat on when this obese man and his obese wife wearing a homemade pioneer dress and reeking of essential oils walked up to him and said, “How many national championships do you have meth mouth?” My neighbor admits it wasn’t his finest moment and answered, “How many wives do you have?” So this man wearing a food-stained BYU T-shirt with about 19 sponsorship logos on it gets in his face and says, “You wouldn’t be in the PAC-12 without us and then your lying AD breaks his promise and leaves. You’re nothing but a bunch of drunken, drug addicts you fetchin….” Then they announced free appetizers and this couple shoved everyone aside to run to the tray of food.