still extend sympathy for the person / player, and withhold undue judgement and villianizing. It doesn have to be "either / or." Either your pm the justive or the mercy side - it can and should be both.

It is not hard to see this as a big deal that deserves metered consequences, as one on CB who lost a spouse and daughter has reminded us all - real people have died from this horrendous choice to drive while intoxicated - no sugar coating that. That being said, one can still empathize with Pau'u as well - what type of life challenges could have driven an RM on BYU's FB team to do such a thing - none of us know, but perhaps he needs help with whatever led up to this poor decision, as well as respect for his right to work through the consequences and be found in a better place after it all - ala KVN and S. Takitaki with whatever challenges they had to work through. Having sympathy / empathy for Pau'u, and wanting him to get to that better place does not preclude recognizing that what he has done IS A BIG DEAL!