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Jan 13, 2021
12:28
:53
pm
the_big_blue_funk
Walk-on
Western lowland gorilla! That's the ticket. They are more numerous, have longer
arms and are more adaptable to a variety of environments.
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the_big_blue_funk
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the_big_blue_funk
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Last login
Mar 18, 2024
Total posts
179 (0 FO)
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Messages
Author
Time
Gorillas could be trained to play offensive guard
the_big_blue_funk
1/13/21 12:13pm
I think it'd be easier to train them as defensive tackles
4th and Niner
1/13/21 12:14pm
You could be right...
the_big_blue_funk
1/13/21 12:20pm
I agree - but I'd include the entire DL.
Eddie
1/13/21 12:24pm
They would have a hard time holding the ball when they mostly run on all 4
BYUFam1
1/13/21 12:30pm
Their hands are HUGE.
Eddie
1/13/21 12:53pm
"Kill the Quarterback" could become quite literal
2FarGone
1/13/21 12:26pm
RE: Gorillas could be trained to play offensive guard
dwhitebud
1/13/21 12:15pm
I think you have no idea how much situational awareness, hand dexterity, and clear communication it takes
Sea Chicken
1/13/21 12:16pm
Perhaps, but I think their superior strength and quickness could make up for it
the_big_blue_funk
1/13/21 12:22pm
Sea Chicken must have been an O-lineman. Seems triggered.
dryflycoug
1/13/21 1:57pm
These posts are the reason I'll never leave CB.
Vincent's Picks
1/13/21 12:16pm
Just hand the rock off to them. Who's going to tackle them? Another Touchdown!
rcbyufan
1/13/21 12:18pm
They also throw their poop. New pentalties?
Cougarclaw
1/13/21 12:18pm
why has Disney not made this into a movie?
byupirate
1/13/21 2:20pm
They have amazing arm length and massive hands
SanDiegoCoug
1/13/21 12:18pm
He could join Air Bud and Gus (the field goal kicking donkey)
BYUFam1
1/13/21 12:18pm
OICH!!
collin7
1/13/21 12:42pm
Personal foul, dismemberment, on the offense.
CSoul
1/13/21 12:19pm
AWWWW COME ON REF, IT"S STILL HANGING BY A THREAD! BOOOO
Cougarclaw
1/13/21 12:21pm
RE: AWWWW COME ON REF, IT"S STILL HANGING BY A THREAD! BOOOO
ldssdl
1/13/21 12:29pm
How do you explain holding, hands to the face, targeting or which team is which?
NOCAL_YFAN
1/13/21 12:19pm
All very good points I have to admit. Rethinking this.
the_big_blue_funk
1/13/21 12:32pm
Penalties would be a small price to pay for having 2 to 4 of your front 5 apes.
The Old Y
1/13/21 1:22pm
We could train them to storm the Capital. They already have crap smearing down.
HansMoleman
1/13/21 12:19pm
Wouldn't they be better in the media? Trib?
O Gaucho
1/13/21 12:20pm
You need to run some OL drills.. That will probably change your mind.
TheLost
1/13/21 12:20pm
Cheaper gifts for the QB to buy his OL
Ripliancum
1/13/21 5:22pm
Eastern Gorilla or Western Gorillas? You have to be more specific here.
Bandersnatch
1/13/21 12:20pm
Western lowland gorilla! That's the ticket. They are more numerous, have longer
the_big_blue_funk
1/13/21 12:28pm
There is East Coast bias to consider, perhaps recruiting more Eastern Gorillas
Bandersnatch
1/13/21 12:35pm
I dare you to show up to an OL meeting and share your thoughts.
mudpupper
1/13/21 12:21pm
Don't forget to bring your gorillas.
Ripliancum
1/13/21 5:22pm
A better animal would be a cheetah - train them to carry the ball, they're never
NOCAL_YFAN
1/13/21 12:21pm
Come on man, now you're just being unrealistic!
Bandersnatch
1/13/21 12:27pm
Not sure a cheetahs mouth could hold the ball especially with a helmet/facemask
BYUFam1
1/13/21 12:33pm
Also, someone roughs the passer, the gorilla tears off their arms.#entertainment
Zaphod
1/13/21 12:21pm
You have gorillas confused with Wookies
UtahCountyCoug
1/13/21 12:22pm
What do sharks, geese and bananas have in common?
Malathion
1/13/21 12:23pm
Forget gorillas. SASQUATCH in at noseguard.
niqmadu
1/13/21 12:25pm
Too tall. Maybe as a rush DE.
IdahoCoug
1/13/21 12:27pm
Bigfootball, a movie done right, would be an instant classic.
Turn and Cough
1/13/21 1:25pm
They have played fullback in the past...
crack
1/13/21 12:28pm
"Gorilla..shmilla. He's just another guy." Can't believe I watched that...
reezonablecoug
1/13/21 5:25pm
<< Deleted >>
GrumpyCougar
1/14/21 12:36am
Stalin wanted to fill the red army with a cross breed of human/ape super warrior
GeraldGarner
1/13/21 12:39pm
How would they do in cold weather games though?
Mike Honcho
1/13/21 12:44pm
slow clap for #6
SingleStrapBackpack
1/13/21 12:47pm
Yewts are like, '#6 could work for us.'
The Old Y
1/13/21 1:24pm
Could we use an elephant as RB?
mwcoug
1/13/21 12:50pm
They wouldn't even need jerseys. Just shave their number into their backs
SanDiegoCoug
1/13/21 1:00pm
This post is reminiscent of something from theGreenRake, for those who remember.
CatManBlue
1/13/21 1:44pm
As an added bonus
BlueBeliever
1/13/21 1:54pm
...end their *life.
IdahoCoug
1/13/21 2:17pm
Finish him!
libertycoug
1/14/21 11:17pm
Howard Cosell could've escaped the ire of calling a player a little monkey
buckeyecougarguy
1/13/21 2:22pm
What do you mean, African or European gorillas?
Mitty
1/13/21 2:56pm
@CougarBoard
1/13/21 2:57pm
Donkeys could place kickers!
BYU Grounds
1/13/21 3:22pm
Good luck getting them to obey the Honor Code.
Dr MoBYU
1/13/21 3:25pm
This thread could look really bad . . .
protonspring
1/13/21 9:10pm
You had to go there.
ditch
1/14/21 12:37am
I don't think they would count against our scholarships either.
sah22
1/13/21 9:10pm
It’d suck to be benched because a gorilla starts ahead of you.
NorthwestCoug
1/13/21 9:32pm
Little known fact: This is why Jane Goodall researched them in the first place
GrumpyCougar
1/14/21 12:38am
Yeah but humans don’t tear your arms out of your sockets when they lose.
(Private)
1/14/21 6:33am
But their ACT score only gets them into Boise State or Utah. 🤔
LEDSFW
1/14/21 8:19am
I have been called an albino gorilla before... 😂😂😂
BulldogCoug79
1/14/21 8:20am
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