Doesn’t mean you are wrong or they are wrong. Just different views of the same behavior.

For instance, is the old white lady who waits an extra beat or two holding the door open for a black man...

A- being kind and going out of her way to be courteous.

B- afraid of having a black man walking behind her and therefore letting him go first.

C- concerned the black man might be up to no good so wants to walk behind him to keep an eye on him.

D- waiting for her granddaughter who’s 30 steps behind the black man

We never know and we don’t know what experiences the other person has had in the past.