They’re also too old to lie to about something like that. I don’t like lying. So I would have to tell my kids that I gave up a member of the family for money. And that member of the family, whether it was a dog or not, was tortured and beaten to death or whatever horrible thing you can come up with. I can’t imagine what that would do to the relationships I have with my children. But it wouldn’t be good. No, that wouldn’t be worth $1 million.

But yes, I will give up my dog to a loving family for $1 million.