From North to South:

Iowa State - small state, already in the B1G media footprint, has always taken a back seat to far more successful Iowa. Not really a media footprint or national interest outside B12 footprint. Nickname Cyclones. Not sure people everywhere like being reminded of severe weather or that witches melt in water, but hey, that Tazmanian Devil dude of WB fame does bring West Virginia Students some form of cultural context with ISU.

KSU - It's clearly in the wrong Manhattan, and then see the above for Iowa State. Except Kansas is not successful in football or a member of the B1G. KSU does have a rabid fan base, but shots in the stomach can cure that. KSU is in some ways similar to Bishop Gorman H.S. in Las Vegas, out if the way, west edge if things, but the Wildcat stadium is not as nice. Outside the B12, KSU is just too insignificant to matter.

Kansas - See KSU above. It may as well be located in Lawrence of Arabia. Small town, near Kansas City but hey, that's in MISSOURI. Even the city named after Kansas is ashamed to locate there. Kansas cannot play football or its defense are still grasping at the invisible flag belts. Kansas is famous for being the team that lost to a super-model Kathy Ireland who played a FG Kicker in the comedy classic Necessary Roughness. At least Tom Hank's character Forest Gump was on an Alabama Team that won more than one game. Sure the Jayhawks have a great basketball arena and team, but can everyone hear the chatter inside the B1G and ACC conference meetings. When commissioners say, "Raise your hand if you want another premier basketball program in the league competing for your players and potentially making your seed in the NCAA tournament a little harder?" WHAT HANDS GO UP? Sorry, Kansas does not offer a big enough "football pays the bills" reason to add them. Kansas isn't even Rutgers without the media market.

Oklahoma State - Good school, large stadium, has always been STATE to OU, sort of another Iowa State with way better uni's and logos. Like Kansas, it's a great BBall (both baseball and basketball) program, but the Pokies can also play football and unlike the Wyoming version, they rarely date sheep. OkSt has a reason to be ticked-off at OU. Boon T Pickens has the cash to keep OkStste relevant. But he isn't Phil Knight either. Squish! This is one of the P5's there that has at least a program that matters. It has little market or media value, but it has game. Build around these strengths.

West Virginia - The Big 12 program further east than everything except Coney Island and Europe. It is the worst academic (ak-a-dem-ik for WVa readers) ranked University in all of FBS. If it was to get an invitation from the B1G, ACC or SEC, it would come with an official translator or be written phonetically so the faculty could understand it. All kidding aside though, WVa is a P5 athletic department and belongs there, even if it requires 1st grade grammar for every freshman and "The Count and Big Bird" are tenured professors. It still ranks 200 spots higher than Boysenberry State and the B12 having lost OU and Texas (top 100 universities like BYU) needs to keep the fire warm with WVa. After all, the Mountaineers are only a Jed Clampet shot of 50 yards behind 356th ranked Mississippi State. They have a 60,000 seat stadium and,... well, trees not called corn and mountains; something no other current B12 venue has all at the same time.

Now the TEXAS schools. Once upon a time there was this big bad gang of schools that hung together called the Southwest Conference. They were pretty bad (you know the thing that goes here). But a funny thing happened in the late '80's and early '90's...all ten were caught pointing fingers at one another for cheating. SMU cheated so bad it lost its program but, the cheater went on to lucrative NFL and ESPN gigs. Bottom line...

BAYLOR is a lightweight. It does have a beautiful new stadium, but building an alumni outside the cult radius of the Branch Dividians and Magnolia Mills is unlikely. Waco is beautiful, but culturally it's more steeply rooted in herb gardens sporting metal crosses and 'Jesus Loves my Tomatoes' plaques than Provo sports people saying 'fetch' in kitchens. it's an academic power and color wise, Baylor is Oregon without the wings. The Bears need truly large schools in the mix to stay relevant in athletics. Otherwise Baylor is just puffed Rice or SMU in a prittier part of Texas.

TCU - Look! What's not to love? But is two programs sporting purple and silver too much for a P5? Wouldn't adding Memphis, another purple and silver team just be WAY too much? And Memphis annually fails to capture the dumbest student body flag from Boise State as one of the poorest academic institutions in the nation. That's because a baller can get three credit hours for clipping his toenails WITHOUT INJURY and spelling 'duh' correctly in speech pathology 102. TCU on the other hand is actually a fine university and has all the right athletic parts and 50,000 seat stadium. AND REALLY, who doesn't love Gary Patterson. He puts the bite back in snapping towels. TCU is a lot like Baylor dressed in purple. The horned frog mascot pretends to be a lizard, confusing it with a mighty dragon. Baylor just has Smokey the bear in an area that gets so much rain, even a forest fire has no chance of making national headlines. TCU has DALLAS and in the Big12 even now, it's the only city that keeps the lights on at night and TV's humming with more than three local channels.

Last and maybe the least are those poor souls way out in the west, TEXAS TECH. If Lubbuck were any further away from from Dallas it would be a weather week warning of western rain. Except Lubbuck gets no rain. Wind on the other hand is a nice constant, like cattle, gas and oil. Lubbuck is where really important ranching, drilling and innovation take place, except nobody really knows. Lubbock us so close to the middle of nowhere you can hear the faint sounds of Seal Team Six preparing for takeoff from Cannon AFB across the New Mixico Boarder. Lubbock isin the panhandle of Texas right between the most never visited part of Oklahoma and the part of Mexico that Mexico did not know existed even after it became New Mexico. Rattlesnakes confidently roam the grassy plains with little fear of becoming boots. The Texas Tech Red Raiders are also the only known B12 program left with a human mascot (mask-hot for West Virginia and Boise fans) after the Sooners leave. Although some fans in Lubbock have always thought that a Sooner was the Wagon and not the lunch thrown up Sooner or Later for eating camp grub armadillos that fell from a tornado. Saw those on 45 in '98. Taste like chicken. Seriously, Texas Tech is good (not great) academically, and has a rich tradition in playing pretty good football and basketball. Pretty good is never excellent or great, but consider your program's best recruiting pitch is "you have to date girls if you can find them, because cows are for eating and the nearest sheep are in Wyoming. Tech is not going to the PAC12 and neither are any other B12 leftovers.

Other than Baylor and TCU, are there paved roads in those towns? KIDDING, KIDDING! The reality is, the eight leftovers are all fine institutions and by fine I mean (it gets a passing grade and short bus ride for WVa).

The bottom line is, adding some media footprints and schools in the top 200-250 academically, plus BYU makes more sense than attempting to get adopted. ADOPTED! When you are all 39 years old and there just isn't a demand for diapered adults with big hairy moles on your faces you aren't getting adopted, melanoma treatment maybe, but not adopted.

The other P5's are all driving around in limos. They don't want any hayseed tractor programs in their procession. They don't want the SS Minnow in their flotilla of expensive yachts. They do not want a kiwis in with their melons. They brush their teeth with Crest, not a straw.

And that's where BYU, SDSU, UCF and HOUSTON all come in like Jim Carry in Dumb and Dumber saying, "So you're saying there's a chance." No longer a need to beg "pick me, pick me."

I am guessing the first four decent media cities to crash Buz Lightyear Bowlsby's office sporting a flannel shirt and straw in teeth will find a spot in the new T5 conference (tweener five or >🖐< for Utah Fans reading in Lehi) with a potential to grow it. Only the remaining eight can surrender P5 status by ignoring the room. It can maintain it by embracing the audience. So be the nerd house, be the Zetas, be the dorks that get revenge. Hang tough, and show them you can succeed without them. Beat them in Basketball. Get better, coach better, play harder and beat them in Football.

If the remaining Big 12 is smart, they culturally hang together, including West Virginia and they add 4-6 teams, build the brand and retain perhaps 60-70%/more of the media bargaining power the conference had with OU and Texas. Maybe they don't get $30 paychecks for a while, but $20-25m is still a lot better than MWC and AAC money (Taco Bell Buy one Get one Free).

The alternative is becoming a source of historic context, like the IVY league. Maybe banding together with some of the MWC names makes sense, but it also makes the remaining eight seem less P5 than if they just add 4 big markets including national brand BYU. I like UCF, BYU, Houston and perhaps Cincinnati, UNLV, CSU or even SDSU. Those are all big eyeball regions. SDSU would give the conference a truly BIG feel. A big MEDIA FOOTPRINT feel.

Anyway, I once saw tom Holme w/a toothpick in his lips. Bet he has a straw and a flannel shirt in his suitcase already.

Just say'n.