For the eight day cruise we are going on, $293.72 for taxes, fees, port expense, suggested gratuity (this is what they will charge you unless you specify something different) $223.84, total of $517.56.

For the seven day I am looking at out of New Orleans, $239.72 and $195.86, total of $435.58.

You can absolutely pay less in gratuities if you choose, or even nothing. And, the fees will vary based on where you sail out of and what ports you visit. But that's the numbers for the two I am looking at doing in the next couple of months. For the seven day at $135 (actual price on carnival.com) each it comes up to $705.58.

Don't get me wrong I think cruising is a great way and an economical way to travel. We've done a bunch. I just don't think there is any way you can do a seven day to anywhere for $500 or even the $550 you posted here, even if you are super cheap on the gratuities. This one next week will be our first in two years---if it happens.