My uncle on the red neck side of my family has always been "that guy". He had a boat and told his daughter he would take her and some friends out to the lake for her birthday. The daughter said no because she always gets embarrassed by the things he does. So, he promised to be on his best behavior and she agreed to do it.
As they were at the lake, he said he was exhausted from working so hard not to do anything to embarrass his daughter. But he made it almost the whole day. That is, until he was helping her friend get up out of the water. He was standing on the back platform of the boat and reached down to grab her arm. As he did, his foot slipped and he went down hard. As he went down, his toe nail (that hadn't been cut in way too long) ran right across the girl's neck. The nail was so long and hard it cut her throat a little bit and caused it to bleed a little bit.
My cousin started crying instantly saying she knew my uncle would embarrass her.
The next day at church, when everyone kept asking the girl about the cut on her throat she kept telling everyone Br. XXXXXX cut it with his toenail - which only made my cousin more upset.