The first was in Brazil. My area was mostly a favela in a valley surrounded by sand dunes, and so on hot summer days we really cooked. I got to a member's house and despite my better judgment, chugged a huge glass of unfiltered water. The aftertaste was distinctively aglae-like and I paid the price.

The only other time was in the third grade as a nine-year old. I ate about six hard shell tacos at the cub scout Blue and Gold banquet. I threw up constantly over the next 12 hours. Incidentally, that was the last time I ate anything at a ward function.

My scientific study indicates the food safety at a ward function is on par with the safety of unfiltered water in Brazilian favelas.