Hey dp92. You're ok. It's okay that you feel depressed. It's not wrong (or right) to feel depressed. You aren't flawed. You aren't letting anyone down by feeling depressed.

I'll share some of what has helped me. (skip to the bullet points if you don't want to read a backstory).

Like many of you, I've fought depression for years. I don't want to share how low I've been, because I think breaking down the details has a negative effect on all of us. (At least for me - when I hear others share how low they have gotten I start to compare it with my own experiences, and then I discredit them because "it's not as bad as I've had it"). Suffice it to say, it's been long and deep enough.

A few months ago (a year maybe?) someone here on cougarboard shared about their incredible physical transformation, with pictures and everything. It was inspiring! When I read it, I was also in the middle of one of the best climbs out of my mental state that I've ever had. I decided then, that when I arrived at the mental/emotional state I was hoping to achieve, I would share a similar post detailing my transformation. A few months later, I started to digress again, and hit another low. I realized though, that this "low" was still a significant improvement from where I was at for years! I have also realized that I may never get to the point of "completely transformed", and that's okay. No reason to wait for "it", before I share with my cougarboard brothers.

What helps me? Pretty much everything you've already thought of, and been told to do. Unless I am consciously utilizing a few of the tools simultaneously, I STRUGGLE. They only work together. Here are my list of tools, and how I have made them work for me.

• Food - For me, this is the most significant factor. This is just from my personal experience (professionals might not put this as high on the list, or not list it at all). When my diet is mostly plant based, is consistently when I feel my best. At the very least, I recommend cutting out processed food. It takes about 10 days to get past the withdrawals from the crap food. Just try it. If you don't notice anything different after a couple weeks, you can always go back. Eating right makes it so much easier to handle the next one.
• Move/exercise - Get moving, even if it's slow. Go for a walk, jog, bike ride, play pickleball, shoot hoops, throw a ball, throw a frisbee, swing with your kids a the playground etc. etc. It doesn't need to be a huge deal, don't worry about getting in great shape. Just get moving. It gives your mind a break, especially from screens.
• Cut down on screen time. Can you go a week without using a screen to pass the time? How about a day? How about just the next hour, starting now? Turning off screens in the evening is probably your best way to help with…
• Sleep. When I'm doing the first 3, my sleep is so much more restful and rejuvenating. If you don't get a night's sleep, don't kick yourself though. For some reason when I tell myself how tired I must be from bad sleep, I immediately feel worse. It's okay to feel tired - just know that you can choose to go to bed tonight.
• Medication - Even if you can't get into a psych right away, you can have your primary care doctor prescribe something to at least get the process going. Medicine sort of helps me, but not significantly. I've tried 5-6 different meds/combos. Some have had horrible side effects. Be patient.
• Therapy/Counseling - You're probably not going to find the perfect counselor. I've seen a couple great ones, and a handful of okay ones (only one was horrible). While meeting with a counselor, it wouldn't help much if I didn't have the energy to work at what we talked about. It helps so much more when I am strict with my eating and exercise.
• Trust in your friends and family. They probably don't know how to help, but sincerlely want to. They may ask you what they can do. They may say, "I'm always here if you need me". That's fine, it didn't really do much to help me (especially because I tend to withdraw from everyone when I feel down), until I leaned into them. I have a couple very reliable friends and brothers who have been significant helps, when I trust them and let them.
• Trust God. Do what it takes to trust him. Pray, fast, read the Book of Mormon, study Come Follow Me, etc. You've heard this hundreds of times.
• Meditate. You don't need to make a huge process out of it. It's just taking some time to acknowledge your thoughts. It could take 30 seconds, or it could be 30 minutes if you're getting something out of it. No pressure, just take a moment to do it.

Be open minded to learn what you respond to. It's different for everyone. No big deal if you try something that everyone else says works for them, and find that it doesn't work for you.

Here are the books that have had the biggest influence on me. They may work for you, maybe not, give it a shot. I've read a few that others highly recommend, but weren't of much help for me.

• • The Mindful Way Through Depression, by J. Mark G. Williams
  • Breaking the habit of being yourself, by Joe Dispenza.
  • You are a Badass, by Jen Sincero.
  • The Prayer of Jabez, by Bruce H. Wilkinson
  • Be Your Future Self Now, by Dr. Benjamin Hardy (currently reading this one).