While I acknowledge that the rivalry was lopsided during the Lavell era, the toxicity was not the same because there was never a time when BYU attempted to hose Utah in scheduling or dump/harm Utah during conference re-alignment scenarios like Utah has done to BYU over the last 15 years. I attended both schools, I've sat in both student sections and the expensive seats at both stadiums for rivalry games (including attending games with combined groups of BYU and Utah fans wearing their colors in each place) and I've also attended rivalry games for programs in the B12 and P12. My experiences confirm that anyone who thinks the programs treat one another the same but that the shoe is just on the other foot in terms of program dominance is completely clueless. However, getting away from the fan experience, where things are clearly different, I believe the toxicity arises from Utah admin and coaches stabbing BYU in the back over the last 15 years.

Let's start with realignment. It was rumored that BYU refused to leave the WAC for the Pac 10 without Utah in the late 80's. I heard this from a reliable source (one of the largest BYU boosters for several decades) so I think it's probably correct, but I cannot substantiate it. Irrespective of whehter that is accurate, BYU was certainly not seeking to destroy Utah's program in the Lavell era and, in fact, BYU and Utah worked together when it came to creating the MWC when the WAC was not working. That was at the end of a prolonged period of domination by BYU over Utah through the 70's, 80's and part of the 90's in the WAC and BYU never sought to dump Utah in any conference move. Utah as a football program had made a lot of progress, but was still clearly not on BYU's level at that point in time. Fast forward a few years and a couple of BCS bowls later for Utah, and it not only leaves BYU behind for the P12 without batting an eyelash, but Utah's president contacts the MWC to ruin BYU's plans for a move to independence, which forced BYU into a plan B for that structure with the WCC rather than working with WAC schools. It's one thing not attempt to help BYU into the P12 when the league was expanding, it's quite another to actively seek to hurt BYU by blocking it's own deal when you're already on your way out of the conference.

The harm did not stop with President Young's phone call, Utah immediately jobbed BYU in scheduling its first years in the P12 that coincided with BYU's early years of independence. It was common for P12 teams to play out of conference rivalry games late in the season (both USC and Stanford played Notre Dame every year deep into conference play). Up to that point the Holy War had been scheduled over Thanksgiving Weekend for several years. A really great tradition had been built and there were some epic games over that time (Beck to Harline, 4th and 18, the doinks, a lot of close games that Utah won that I won't mention here). Frankly, BYU desperately needed quality November games for independence, which Utah obviously understood, and it would have taken very little effort by Utah to keep that rivalry going after Thanksgiving since there was precedent for it in the P12. Utah had commissioner Scott put the "new" rivalry game with Colorado that weekend and said P12 policy didn't allow them to schedule BYU other than in September (which was obviously a lie...see ND games). This crowds out a very high quality game for BYU and leaves BYU with a mostly crappy November lineup for over a decade. There were years where Utah just refused to schedule BYU in both BB and FB.

To that point, BYU never cancelled basketball games by blaming a player or suggesting the rivalry wasn't "safe" because of a petty skirmish (ie Coach Krystkowiak). The irony of that ridiculous stance by the Utah administration and coach is that basically the exact same scenario had unfolded a couple of years earlier in reverse. Coach Rose, the BYU administration, and even the player that took it on the chin (who, ironically, was the older brother of the player that would later hit a Utah player) were all completely professional about it and refused to be baited into making it a big story by the media. They remained complimentary of Utah and its program and even made excuses for Marshall saying he just got caught up in the moment. BYU didn't throw the player under the bus, criticize Utah, or cowardly cancel a return game over it like Utah did. The programs are not the same as Utah is petty and little brotherish irrespective of whether their program is weaker or stronger than BYU.

Lastly, I had a number of experiences with faculty at Utah who are outright anti-mormon and anti-BYU. I never heard a BYU prof or admin say anything negative about the UofU either when I attended BYU or since, but I regularly heard Utah professors and admin criticize BYU or the church (sometimes both at the same time). It baffled me that professors would make statements about the church when so many of their students were clearly active LDS. It was tone deaf and very little brotherish. I never witnessed this behavior at other liberal Universities where I attended as it was peculiarly a UofU thing.

I would note that 20 years ago I cheered for both BYU and Utah when they weren't playing one another, but actions by fans, coaches, and administration at the UofU have changed my perspective. Again, it has nothing to do with Utah's success, it has to do with stabbing BYU in the back over and over again. At this point, it's funny to see Ute fans squirming as the P12 gravy train is either coming to a halt or at least severely damaged right at the same time as BYU's P5 ship has finally come in. Fifteen years ago I would have been legitimately excited about Utah and BYU being in the same P5 conference, but after witnessing Utah's true colors and motives, I honestly don't want BYU to be beholden to Utah in any way, shape, or form. I don't want Utah having a vote on anything of significance in the B12. I don't want to have to play Utah every year in every sport except under mutually agreed upon terms. I'd be completely fine with not playing in BB and letting the most recent BYU victory in FB be the last game for several years to come. Lastly, it would put a huge smile on my face if Utah ended up back in the MWC (or the MWC 2.0 with the P12 logo on it). There really couldn't be a more deserving program of relegation.